Twitter Plays, part CCII
It’s Twitter Plays CCII! This week’s assignment was: write a 1-tweet play that features a STATUE.
Here are your plays starting with @DonnettaLavinia and my biography.
@nyneofuturists An excerpt: The Stupid Man & The Statue. The Stupid Man enters “Hello. Hello? Heellloooo!!!” (Pause) “Jerk.” He exits #tp202
— DonnettaLaviniaGrays (@DonnettaLavinia) March 5, 2013
@nyneofuturists #tp202 Two human statues do Waiting for Godot but still can’t move or talk. It costs $80 million. Directed by Julie Taymor.
— Ethan Stanislawski (@EthanStanComedy) March 5, 2013
A: It’s finally done. B: What is it? A: Alton Brown made from mashed potatoes. B: I only asked you to make me a sandwich. #tp202
— Jason A. Milner (@checkypantz) March 5, 2013
@nyneofuturists the Statue of Liberty begins to rot and turns purple, she resembles jimmy Hendrix. Torch is replaced with guitar. #tb202
— Lauren R Alexander (@lauren_alexand) March 5, 2013
#tp202: (couple in Vegas) A: Vegas? This looks like Statue City… (both see MiniLiberty @ NYNY Hotel) B: Yup, you right. A: Mini Liberty…
— Fernando Contreras (@omgitzfern) March 5, 2013
People pay a lot of attention to ancient statues. How do I get that gig? #CoveredinLava #Pompei @nyneofuturists #tp202
— Will Dietzler (@WD405) March 5, 2013
Twitter plays, part CXCV
It’s Twitter Plays CXCV! This week’s assignment was: write a 1-tweet play that features a FARMER.
Here are your plays starting with @RedJakiBlue and a hi-ho-a-derry-o, indeed.
A wife looks out the window. Her husband sways gently to the music from his headphones. The wife sighs. The farmer’s in Adele. #Tp195
— jakisbrain (@RedJakiBlue) January 15, 2013
FARMER: My mom thinks I need to expand my social circle. COW: Moo.FARMER: That’s what I told her! She just doesn’t understand… #tp195
— Katie Krueger (@KatieTheActor) January 16, 2013
FARMER picks up shovel, looks at the earth & digs down deep. He finds a record. He climbs out, holds it 2his ear, smiles then dances. #tp195
— chandra thomas (@truechandra) January 15, 2013
@nyneofuturists GRIM REAPER w/sickle approaches FARMER, age 104.FARMER: U must be here ‘bout that job clearin’ the lower field. #tp195
— Beth Danesco (@BethOnePage) January 15, 2013
@nyneofuturists [Two farmers, observing.] JONAS: I see the crop circles are coming in nicely this season. AMOS: I had some good help. #tp195
— Jason A. Milner (@checkypantz) January 16, 2013
@nyneofuturists:A farmer w/ his new iPhone tries 2 use the twitter app while walking steps on a rake & breaks the it against his face #tp195
— Dylan Amick (@Whats_the_Dilly) January 15, 2013
@nyneofuturists A: Twerp Merp Slerp! B: Woah! You an Alien?A: Boop Sloop Shmoop!A: Oh Jeez. Hold on.. Farmer Joe! We’ve got another one!
— Bella Poynton (@BellaPoynton) January 15, 2013
@nyneofuturists “There’s a hole in the bucket dear Liza dear Liza there’s a hole in the bucket dear Liza a hole” (Liza shoots Henry) THE END
— Laurel D (@Levianity) January 15, 2013
F: Look at this here corn! What a great crop this season. A: It’s an EAR of corn. F: What? I can’t hear you. A: Here. It’s an ear.#tp195
— lex(@lex6m) January 15, 2013
Farmer at a strip club. Bouncer: Get out of here! Farmer: Those ladies need to be milked! #tp195
— Xchel (@Xchelm) January 15, 2013
Twitter plays, part CXCIV
It’s Twitter Plays CXCIV! This week’s assignment was: write a 1-tweet play that features an ALLIGATOR.
Here are your plays starting with @rebeca who pretty much gets me.
Alligator: I want to be a submarine. Psychiatrist: Is it not enough for you to be a talking alligator? #tp194 #NeverSatisfied
— Rebeca C. (@rebeca) January 8, 2013
@nyneofuturists Ass:Aw, there’s an alligator!Crack:Hush! It hurts when you talk!Ass:It hurts more when I’m bitten!*Alligator bites ass.*
— Ass Alligator (@AssAlligator) January 9, 2013
@nyneofuturists Doc: You MUST forgive yourself. Patient: I could’ve sworn when she fell off the boat, they were all shouting “I’ll get her”.
— Christopher H Wolf (@slimebeast) January 9, 2013
Captain Hook looks for his lost soul in the last place he saw it. He walks slowly towards the alligator. #tp194
— jakisbrain (@RedJakiBlue) January 9, 2013
Ali: My name has nothing to do with gator.Fil: As mine has nothing with gas stations.Ali: Dont touch me, I bite, I bite hard.#tp194
— Ed French (@amsphr) January 9, 2013
Alligator: I’ll see you later.Crocodile:Wait, that’s my line.Alligator:Is it?Crocodile:Yes. Alligator:My bad.#tp194
— Mackenzie Stuart (@mackenziestuart) January 9, 2013
#tp194 “Alligators on fashion” 1. Heard zookeeper Bill got new shoes the other day. 2. Yeah, what did they cost? 1. My wife.
— Sarah Bell (@skbelletkin) January 9, 2013
@nyneofuturistsREPORTER: Why do u kill alligators? POACHER: 2feed my family! (beat) We used go to the IHOP, but it closed last year #tp194
— Beth Danesco (@BethOnePage) January 9, 2013
@nyneofuturistsThe usual.Is plain OK? I can’t reach the Vanilla.Why?Alligator.Oh. Sure. This is good! I’ll try a scone, too.#tp194
— Shawn Andrei (@Leaujacques) January 9, 2013
@nyneofuturists For Sale: baby alligator pumps never worn. (Comes with matching handbag.) #tp194
— Jen Pierce (@drjenpierce) January 9, 2013
(ALLIGATOR hanging out of JO’S toilet.) GATOR: Sorry Jo your time has come. JO: Don’t apologize. It’s my fault for moving to Florida. #tp194
— Brett Steven Abelman (@Babelwright) January 8, 2013
For #tp194:(2030.)Steve Jr.: I’m gonna die like a REAL man. Not like my pa. To some STING GATOR or whatever it was.(Boos as Steve bows.)
— Ben Ferber (@BenFerber) January 8, 2013
An alligator’s bite is deadly, but its jaw-opening muscles are weak. So I’ll be fine. As long as I never ever let go. #tp194
— David McGee (@davidjmcgee) January 8, 2013
#tp194 GATOR: “I yearn. These stubby limbs long to hold her. I yearn vainly, as she is a stork, and scared shitless of me” #GatorSoliloquy
— Gordon Reid (@caknuck) January 8, 2013
@nyneofuturists ALLIGATOR (to the CAPTAIN): I know you hate me for what I did to you. But can you imagine a world without me? #tp194
— Claire (@quitehouse) January 8, 2013
@nyneofuturists Alligator - Hi, I’m an alligator…Shane was supposed to write something witty for me to say, but he’s tired…so… #tp194
— Shane Strawbridge (@ShaneStraw) January 8, 2013
@nyneofuturists “I was only 8 when I lost my best friend. Years later, working for DPW, we reunited.” #tp194
— LeDiva (@lediva) January 8, 2013
Christmas. Family opens gifts. Son gets sweater, is disappointed; fairy appears and turns him into an alligator. Eats entire family. #tp194
— Adam Cecil (@fakeadamcecil) January 8, 2013
#tp194 (Lights on ALLIGATOR & CROCODILE) C: See you later! A: After while! (REPTILE EXPERT enters) RE: Ha! I knew it! (A and C eat RE. Bows)
— Jeremy Gable (@Jeremy_Gable) January 8, 2013
#tp194 “Move.” “Move.” “Asleep?” “Eyes are open.” “Do something!” “Hello?” [pause.] “AAAH!” “He didn’t move.”
— Tim McMackin (@timothymcmackin) January 8, 2013
GATOR 1: See you later, Crocodile. GATOR 2: You’re an idiot. #tp194
— Vee (@thebaronessa) January 8, 2013
#tp194(swamp) BIRD (about to take flight): See you later, Alligator! CROCODILE: Yeah, that was pretty racist.
— Primrose MK (@PrimroseMK) January 8, 2013
#tp194 Single lite on alligator, scrunching his face in various contortions. A croc walks by: We can’t cry, Pete, face it. P: BUT I GET SAD!
— The Nall (@mrstagemanager) January 9, 2013
(2 enters w/gator.) 1: Gaah! No, I asked for a ventilator!! Bring me a calculator. (2 reenters w/gator) 1: You’re screwing with me. #tp194
— Eric Pfeffinger (@epfeffin) January 8, 2013
Time: 1980. Kids in preppy collared insignia shirts. 1 enters. Others laugh & mock & leave. 1: What? It’s a caiman!Dang knockoff. #tp194
— Eric Pfeffinger (@epfeffin) January 8, 2013
Gramps: Your nephew’s in the elevator?Ted: No…my SHOES are made of ALLIGATOR.Gramps: Well who do you think they’ll believe? #tp194
— Katie Krueger (@KatieTheActor) January 8, 2013
FATHER (to SON): I used to complain a lot until I met Alligator. She taught me how to sing. SON:Sing? FATHER: Yup-notes sent up high. #tp194
— chandra thomas (@truechandra) January 8, 2013
two hikers think sleeping alligator is a log…they sit…eat lunch…they exit…alligator wakes…that was a really weird dream. #tp194
— John Greiner-Ferris (@johngf) January 9, 2013
[ALLIGATORS dances X stage, HIPPORINAS leaps into their arms, A’s collapse] H1:*sigh* I knew we should’ve gone with crocs. [Exeunt] #tp194
— sylliebee (@sylliebee) January 9, 2013
CROCODILE: C u later alligator! ALLIGATOR: In awhile, crocodile! CROC: I’m an alligator! ALLI: NO yr teeth stick outa yr closed mouth #tp194
— Mo Pula (@mopula1) January 9, 2013
{Scene:Chinese Restaurant} Gator:(reading fortune cookie)”You soon will be hugging your enemies feet and caressing their waist”*GULP* #tp194
— Dan the Automator (@YangHoff) January 9, 2013
#tp194 Toilet center stage.Man takes a dump(reads newspaper,etc.) Finishes. Exits.Alligator crawls out of toilet & toward audience.Blackout.
— Molly Welsh (@BoomboxMolly) January 9, 2013
And that… is our ender for this week!
Again, leave more plays in the comments if we left them out, or direct message us at Twitter: @nyneofuturists.
And you can check out previous Twitter Plays here: Favorites at Twitter or find out more about what this Twitter Play thing is all about.
Twitter plays, part CXCIII
It’s Twitter Plays CXCIII! This week’s assignment was: write a 1-tweet play that features YODELING.
Here are your plays starting with @Jah_Schwa who… well… nails it, I think.
BOYFRIEND: Honey, it’s time I met your parents. GIRLFRIEND: You want to meet my old man? BOYFRIEND: Sure, and YOUR OLD LADY, TOOOOO!#tp193
— Jah Schwa (@Jah_Schwa) December 18, 2012
A: Switzerland! Yodel eh hee—!B: I came for the chocolate. YOU obviously came to get yourself thrown off a mountain. #tp193
— Heather Morrow (@theatrejunkiehm) December 19, 2012
@nyneofuturists #tp193KID: I lost the science fair. MOM: Who won? KID: The boy with the yodeling robot MOM: His mom totally built that
— Beth Danesco (@BethOnePage) December 19, 2012
@nyneofuturists #tp193 1: I have to assassinate Hitler. 2: But how Agent Sawyer? 1: His only weakness Yodeling I slip in real close and bang
— Joe Degand III (@Joetat3rd) December 19, 2012
@nyneofuturists #tp193 1:u hear yodeling? 2:what’s it mean1:tellin us he’s there 2:where 1:mountainside 2:glad he’s there not here 1:y2:loud
— Joseph Frost (@AtticScripts) December 18, 2012
@nyneofuturists Manuan: Do you yodel? Mantu: I yodel. Manuan: Yodel. Mantu: (Yodels.) Manuan: (Wryly smiles.) #tp193
— Jorge Luis André (@chaosownsyou) December 18, 2012
@nyneofuturists A: What are you doing with that creamy spiral of chocolate cake? B: It’s a Yodel. I’m unrolling it. That’s how I eat them.
— Kathleen Warnock (@kwarnockny) December 18, 2012
@nyneofuturists [Loud yodeling from a dark room] MAN-What is that? TIFFANYRINEHART-Oh, that’s just Kathy Griffin pleasuring herself. #tp193
— Shane Strawbridge (@ShaneStraw) December 18, 2012
@nyneofuturists No one ever died from yodeling. Maybe those guys from the Ricola commercials. #yolodeling #tp193
— Joe (@JoeRubiks) December 18, 2012
Twitter plays, part CXCII
It’s Twitter Plays CXCII! This week’s assignment was: write a 1-tweet play that takes place in a CASINO.
Here are your plays starting with @AtticScripts and a lucky lucky day.
@nyneofuturists #tp192 1:today’s my lucky day 2:havnt seen the sun in 36 hrs 1:yestrdy’s my lucky- 2:tomorrow 1:tomorrow’s my lucky- 2:sure
— Joseph Frost (@AtticScripts) December 12, 2012
#tp192 (Lights on slot machine called “Trap Door”. MAN enters, pulls lever. Sirens, bells, he won! Trap door opens. He falls. Silence. Bows)
— Jeremy Gable (@Jeremy_Gable) December 11, 2012
@nyneofuturists Clip:$100 on 13.Dealer: I was 13 on the team back at John Dewey.Clip:C’mon man they never had a team.Dealer:all clear #tp192
— Dr. Cuva (@DrCuva) December 12, 2012
@nyneofuturists1: Hit me2: [slaps 1]1: Who the hell do you think you are mister?2: Christian Grey, pleasure to meet you?#tp192
— David John (@ThatsDaveWithaD) December 11, 2012
@nyneofuturists 1: Please! Let me out of this slot machine! I’m hungry and cranky! I don’t like it in here. 2: Nope. You’re the grand prize.
— Jen D. (@thejenerald) December 11, 2012
@nyneofuturists Lights up on WOMAN w/boring day job, broke, living w/parents, gambling she’ll succeed as playwright #LifeIsMyCasino #tp192
— Beth Danesco (@BethOnePage) December 11, 2012
Gambler: “Put it all on red.” Dealer: “Sir, this is the poker table.” Gambler: “I like to live dangerously.”@nyneofuturists #tp192
— Allyson Morgan (@allysonm) December 11, 2012
@nyneofuturists A: I know when to hold ‘em. B: I know when to fold ‘em. A: I know when to walk away. B: I know when to…(A shoots B). BANG!
— Kathleen Warnock (@kwarnockny) December 11, 2012
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