Twitter Plays, part CCIV
It’s Twitter Plays CCIV! This week’s assignment was: write a 1-tweet play that features AN APOLOGY.
Here are your plays starting with @stevenberkowitz and my morning mirror routine.
M: *If* I have offended… If I have *offended*… If *I* have offended anyone- [knock, D peeps in] D: Sir? They’re ready for you. #tp204
— Steven Berkowitz (@stevenberkowitz) March 19, 2013
*X wrongs Y* X: I’m sorry Y: Thats ok *X wrongs Y* X: Sorry Y: I forgive you *X wrongs Y* X: Sorry Y: Actions speak louder than words #tp204
— Mo Pula (@mopula1) March 19, 2013
i love you, but #tp204
— REDBOX (@ZHines2) March 19, 2013
In the year 2103, the US finally issues an apology for the Iraqi invasion in the form of a Hallmark card. @nyneofuturists #tp204
— Will Dietzler (@WD405) March 19, 2013
1: Sorry, I accidentally let the dogs out. 2: You, YOU, YOU, YOU?! #tp204
— Christopher H Wolf (@slimebeast) March 20, 2013
At a Funeral.W: Thanks so much for coming.M: I apologize for your loss.W: Excuse me?!M: I mean, I’m so sorry for your loss.#tp204
— Spencer Tew (@spencer_tew) March 19, 2013
Husband: Sorry. Wife: What? Husband: You’ll see. Keep in mind I apologized. #tp204
— Christopher H Wolf (@slimebeast) March 20, 2013
[empty stage. plant in audience] Am I sorry? Sorry that some hack thinks he’s above typing out #tp204? No, I’m not sorry. I’m pissed. [Dies]
— Dan D. (@fakewindow) March 19, 2013
Twitter Plays, part CCIII
It’s Twitter Plays CCIII! This week’s assignment was: write a 1-tweet play that takes place at an UNDERWATER SHIPWRECK.
Here are your plays starting with @theatrejunkiehm and pretty much my reasoning for staying by the bar at clubs.
A: How romantic to be a plankton-nibbled skeleton at the bottom of the sea! Dance with me darling! B: I would but I’ve lost my feet. #tp203
— Heather Morrow (@theatrejunkiehm) March 12, 2013
OMG the air’s rushing in I can’t stop it Captain we’re floaatingggggggg ack *silence* #tp203
— Rich Mintz (@richmintz) March 12, 2013
.@nyneofuturists #tp203 [knock clank creak] “Who’s there?” [bubble… bubble] “You guys again? Look, I live here now. Swim off.” [bubble…]
— Tim McMackin (@timothymcmackin) March 12, 2013
The diver raises a fallen beam and finds a set of shackles. She removes debris and sand methodically, revealing rows, rows of chains. #tp203
— Erin Keane (@eekshecried) March 12, 2013
Heaving and pushing, the diver makes it to the ship where he finds Ariel and Aquaman, doing some heaving and pushing of their own. #tp203
— jakisbrain (@RedJakiBlue) March 12, 2013
@nyneofuturists #tp203 “Jack!” “Rose!” “I let go.” “I don’t know what you’re referring to.” Everyone waves to James Cameron. Fin.
— Rosalind Grush (@chachka222) March 12, 2013
[SHIPWRECK] MERMAIDS root through pockets of VICTIMS for credit cards and smartphones, hold phones up for signals, then shop online.#tp203
— Kait Burrier (@KaitBurrier) March 12, 2013
Twitter Plays, part CCII
It’s Twitter Plays CCII! This week’s assignment was: write a 1-tweet play that features a STATUE.
Here are your plays starting with @DonnettaLavinia and my biography.
@nyneofuturists An excerpt: The Stupid Man & The Statue. The Stupid Man enters “Hello. Hello? Heellloooo!!!” (Pause) “Jerk.” He exits #tp202
— DonnettaLaviniaGrays (@DonnettaLavinia) March 5, 2013
@nyneofuturists #tp202 Two human statues do Waiting for Godot but still can’t move or talk. It costs $80 million. Directed by Julie Taymor.
— Ethan Stanislawski (@EthanStanComedy) March 5, 2013
A: It’s finally done. B: What is it? A: Alton Brown made from mashed potatoes. B: I only asked you to make me a sandwich. #tp202
— Jason A. Milner (@checkypantz) March 5, 2013
@nyneofuturists the Statue of Liberty begins to rot and turns purple, she resembles jimmy Hendrix. Torch is replaced with guitar. #tb202
— Lauren R Alexander (@lauren_alexand) March 5, 2013
#tp202: (couple in Vegas) A: Vegas? This looks like Statue City… (both see MiniLiberty @ NYNY Hotel) B: Yup, you right. A: Mini Liberty…
— Fernando Contreras (@omgitzfern) March 5, 2013
People pay a lot of attention to ancient statues. How do I get that gig? #CoveredinLava #Pompei @nyneofuturists #tp202
— Will Dietzler (@WD405) March 5, 2013
Twitter Plays, Part CC (200!)
It’s Twitter Plays CC (200)! This week’s assignment was: write a 1-tweet play that features a BLIND DATE.
Here are your plays starting with @sasimons’s romantic comedy with twist ending (no spoilers).
[At rise: a bear and a salmon in an Arby’s] BEAR: So THAT’s what Bob meant when he said you were a “catch!”[Clowns eat everyone] #tp200
— Seth Simons (@sasimons) February 20, 2013
ELON (old enuf2know memories now w/o sight) takes out a calendar &holds it up. August 15 is circled. ELON: when my eyes betrayed me #tp200
— chandra thomas (@truechandra) February 20, 2013
*family drags woman kicking&screaming into restaurant**other family drags man in* CHORUS: You 2 r made 4 each other! *couple escapes* #tp200
— Mo Pula (@mopula1) February 19, 2013
#tp200 G: Waiter, was he like this when he got here? W: Yes, he said he was on a “blind date.” He smashed into every table w/ his eyes shut.
— Catherine B Smith (@catherineblakes) February 19, 2013
For #tp200:Nicest Child: Santa, all I want for Christmas is nuclear annihilation.Santa: I must obey.(Strobe lights on the audience.)
— Ben Ferber (@BenFerber) February 19, 2013
CHARLIE: You dance the tango and drive a Ferrari better than anyone. AL: I’m in the dark here! CHARLIE: I get it. Dinner’s on me. #tp200
— Vee (@thebaronessa) February 19, 2013
Twitter plays, part CXCV
It’s Twitter Plays CXCV! This week’s assignment was: write a 1-tweet play that features a FARMER.
Here are your plays starting with @RedJakiBlue and a hi-ho-a-derry-o, indeed.
A wife looks out the window. Her husband sways gently to the music from his headphones. The wife sighs. The farmer’s in Adele. #Tp195
— jakisbrain (@RedJakiBlue) January 15, 2013
FARMER: My mom thinks I need to expand my social circle. COW: Moo.FARMER: That’s what I told her! She just doesn’t understand… #tp195
— Katie Krueger (@KatieTheActor) January 16, 2013
FARMER picks up shovel, looks at the earth & digs down deep. He finds a record. He climbs out, holds it 2his ear, smiles then dances. #tp195
— chandra thomas (@truechandra) January 15, 2013
@nyneofuturists GRIM REAPER w/sickle approaches FARMER, age 104.FARMER: U must be here ‘bout that job clearin’ the lower field. #tp195
— Beth Danesco (@BethOnePage) January 15, 2013
@nyneofuturists [Two farmers, observing.] JONAS: I see the crop circles are coming in nicely this season. AMOS: I had some good help. #tp195
— Jason A. Milner (@checkypantz) January 16, 2013
@nyneofuturists:A farmer w/ his new iPhone tries 2 use the twitter app while walking steps on a rake & breaks the it against his face #tp195
— Dylan Amick (@Whats_the_Dilly) January 15, 2013
@nyneofuturists A: Twerp Merp Slerp! B: Woah! You an Alien?A: Boop Sloop Shmoop!A: Oh Jeez. Hold on.. Farmer Joe! We’ve got another one!
— Bella Poynton (@BellaPoynton) January 15, 2013
@nyneofuturists “There’s a hole in the bucket dear Liza dear Liza there’s a hole in the bucket dear Liza a hole” (Liza shoots Henry) THE END
— Laurel D (@Levianity) January 15, 2013
F: Look at this here corn! What a great crop this season. A: It’s an EAR of corn. F: What? I can’t hear you. A: Here. It’s an ear.#tp195
— lex(@lex6m) January 15, 2013
Farmer at a strip club. Bouncer: Get out of here! Farmer: Those ladies need to be milked! #tp195
— Xchel (@Xchelm) January 15, 2013
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