THIS BEARS EXPLAINATION (2012 Longest Running TML play!)

© 2012, Jeffrey Cranor

Neo 1 enters, holds up some complex chart.

Neo 2 enters, holds up a sign that reads: “This Bears Explanation”

Neo 3 enters and clears throat.

Beat.

Neo 2 underlines “Bears” and draws an apostrophe before the “s.” (“This Bear’s Explanation!” get it?)

Neo 3 dons a bear mask.

Neo 3 growls and makes large open-palmed gestures at the chart, attempting to explain what it is to the audience. Then Neo 3 knocks the chart out of Neo 1’s hands and tries to maul Neo 1. This goes on for a bit.

Curtain

Dirty Laundry Aired Fondly

Dirty Laundry Aired Fondly 
© 2011 Ryan Good

At Go, KATE grabs a laundry hamper hamper that has one item of clothing from each of the current cast in it. They approach an audience member and ask them to pick on item from the basket. Whoever the owner of the selected item is then does this play. All other neos exit. Selected neo comes to center and tells the brief story of the significance of this item (shouldn’t be memorized, just told in their words at that moment). Some detail is good but this shouldn’t go on for over a minute. Towards the end of the story, selected neo puts on item of clothing (if it doesn’t fit anymore, they can get creative). Story should end with “And I still have it today”.

CURTAIN

Neo wears that item for the remainder of the show.

Here are some examples of stories:

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The Monster at the End of this Play

© 2011 Adam Smith

Adam onstage talking to audience. He has a flashlight in his pocket. At the end of the play, a box monster will appear. The monster will be 4 pieces of cardboard on poles. The head will be at the top, with a body attached by rope or string on one pole, then arms on the other poles.

ADAM.
What did you do? did you not hear it?
There’s a monster at the end and you’ve brought me quite near it.
Something so foul so rank so vicious 
just thinking about it makes my underpants viscous

Adam moves to the landing. Lights out. Adam lights self with flashlight. He holds an audience member’s hand or rests his hand on their shoulder when appropriate.

What if I get closer and speak in quieter tones
Shane lower the lights, let’s see how this goes.
Let’s hold each others hands and talk about feelings
Let’s come up with solutions to all the debt ceilings
Let’s busy ourselves with the plight of the farmer.
Passitivity and distraction to avoid that the monster.

Slight pause. He shines the flashlight shines on stage. During, SO WHY DON’T YOU COME OUT HERE, Adam storms to the stage, yelling to the backstage.

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Sadly, this is an argument.

Sadly, this is an argument. 
(c)2010 roberta colindrez

Neo 1: The debate fires on in this country as people across America- most of whom have never ever once in their lives stepped foot in New York City- question the Islamic cultural center which includes a prayer room that is set to be built somewhere kind-of near ground zero. 
Neo 2 enters in a fury, demanding answers. 
Neo 2: What the hell? You mean you wanna build a fucking mosque for the muslims?? On ground zero??? 
Neo 1: It’s the old Burlington Coat Factory. At 45 Park Place. 
Neo 2: It’s on hallowed ground. Are you even American?? 
Neo 1: Yes.

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Three Nights in Paris

Kate Jones © 2012

Bed and pillows are taped out on the house right wall, near the pillar in the second row. Nicole stands next to the pole, Dan stands to Nicole’s left; both are holding a blanket up so that it looks like they’re in bed.
1: This tape represents the dimensions of a normal full sized mattress.
2: I am [approximately] his size.
1: And I am [approximately] her size.
2: A bed of this size was in an apartment they shared.
1: One block from the Eiffel Tower.
2: Two friends, on vacation.
1: Just friends.
2: Three nights in the city of love, the city of lights.
1: They made chocolate volcano cakes.
2: Clinked Cotton Candy Cocktails.
1: Walked arm in arm along the Seine.
2: Daydreamed about their next adventure.
1: But each night, when they climbed into bed
2: He was at the edge. (Turn body to L, head looks L unless delivering a line)
1: And she was pressed up against the wall. (Turn body to R, head looks R unless delivering a line.)
2: Polite with pillows and blankets.
1: Cautious not to kick, or accidentally spoon
2: Three nights in bed, and they never once touched.
1: She thought, ‘if anything was going to happen, it would happen in Paris.’
2: She’s not convinced he was thinking at all.
1: The victims of over thinking it so much…
2: That they were both paralyzed with fear.
1: (pause) Nothing happened in Paris.
2: (pause) Something happened in Paris.
Both turn to face the audience, hold hands behind the blanket.
1: The ‘something’ being the realization that they both wanted more than nothing.
2: That maybe they should try it, before they give up on it.
1: They haven’t shared a bed since they got back.
2: But one assumes they probably will.
1: (Turning to Dan) Who assumes that?
2: Well… She wrote the play.
Drop the blanket to reveal holding hands, smiling at the audience.

Curtain.

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