Twitter plays, part CLXXXV
It’s Twitter Plays CLXXXV! This week’s assignment was: write a 1-tweet play that features a PSYCHIC.
Here are your plays starting with @HeidiHandelsman and the woes of psychic dating.
Psychics on a first date. They meet. Look into each other’s eyes. PSYCHIC 1 slaps PSYCHIC 2 in the face. Both weep. “Check please.”
1: Excuse me. 2: Twenty-Three. 1: Wow! Thanks.
1: Behold. I can see the future. This… will end anticlimactically. (Pause.) 2: Duuude.
Man: BOO!! Physic: Aaaaggh! Jesus! What the hell!! Where did you…? Man: Exactly. (Beat) Physic: How’d you like that refund?
3 from @mightytoycannon:
A: I went to a psychic today. B: And? A: I will die alone and leave no trace. B: But I’ll remember you. A: You’re dying first.
A: Who will win the election? B: My crystal ball tells me that today’s polls are all wrong. A: Um. Not helpful.
A: I see a troubled future for you. B: Can you be more specific? A: Sorry, you’re going to have to download the premium app for that.
2 from @ShaneStraw:
Lights up. NYNF- Your assignment, please write— (Psychic appears) Psychic - …a 1-tweet play that features a psychic. Lights.
Lights up on empty room. Psychic crying over another failed final four bracket. Curtain.
Hi this is 1-800 futur…. Mark? Mom? How’d you find me? I’m your son ain’t I? (Please enter cc # now) Mom? Yes? Dads dead I know
A psychic got a voodoo doll to hex her cheating man and best friend; put pins in the head and on the crotch. Which will fall off 1st?
Guy: I see confusion in your future. Psychic: yea.. I thought I was the one who was supposed to SEE stuff!
-Close your eyes tell me your Facebook name -Amy Rae -I’m getting something: you’re in a complicated relationship
the psychic’s sidekick’s psychologist sighs sourly: “I don’t know where this is going, David” “Exactly, Doc, neither do I!”
“Yes I see you are an insecure fool who just wants to be told that they aren’t in control of their life” “Yep”
H:What am I going to do next? P:I dunno. H:Yes you do. P:Yup. H:Well? P:Exactly. H:What? P:Yeah.
[Open on infomercial set]Host: Call the psychic enemies network NOW to figure out what terrible things we’ll do to you in the future!
The past & future are illusions -Like David Blaine? More like choosing between Coke or Pepsi -I drink RC Cola Didn’t see that coming
CASS: Zere is a man in your future SUE: My true love? CASS: He is ze Viper. SUE: Oh! CASS: He vill come to vipe your vindows #TinyTim
NY NEO-FUTURISTS: Assignment - Write a 1-tweet play that features a PSYCHIC. #tp185 PSYCHIC: I knew you were going to say that.
1: I have a question psychic: I know 1: u wont answer? p: no 1: y? P: u wont listen 1: how do u know? P: I’m psychic
Me: I knew you were going to tweet that. (drops mic)
I saw a Psychic yesterday. What did she say? Why do you assume it’s a woman? Because… well? She was transgender. What?
MAN: Hey, what do u think of that show “Psych”? PSYCHIC: Never seen it. But it’ll be cancelled May 12th, 2014.
Yep… And that is our ender for this week!
Again, leave more plays in the comments if we left them out, or direct message us at Twitter: @nyneofuturists.