Twitter plays, part CLXXVI

It’s Twitter Plays CLXXVI! This week’s assignment was: write a 1-tweet play that features an [IMPOSSIBLE STAGE DIRECTION].

Here are your plays starting with @TheWoosterGroup and maybe the impossible-est of impossible?

@TheWoosterGroup:
Fan:”Justin, could you come over here and write a really great song?” / Justin Bieber: “Sure.” [He does]

@sgnp:
(MANAGING DIRECTOR enters.) MD: What if there were no theatre? (Audience members find themselves at home, feeling unexplained loss.) 

2 from @mightytoycannon:
Escher & Mobius at café. Escher rises. M: Where r u you going? E: Up these stairs. Back in a sec. [climbs impossible staircase]
&
Curtain up on Immovable Object. Irresistable Force enters. Narrator: There will be no intermission.

@ZHines2:
MISTRESS: i think i hear the front door! MAN: are you sure? WIFE: (offstage) honey! im home! MAN: oh shit! [MAN melts into floor]

@thebaronessa:
(Exeunt omnes) HIGGS (from off stage): Eh? BOSON(from the lobby): Meh! HIGGS (from another space-time continuum): Pfft!

@MadridCarlson:
Godot [ENTERING]: Hey guys, I made it!

@fatone:
INTERNET: I have hidden the key to human happiness in me, just seek it out. MAN: Huh. I guess porn can wait. [He searches.]

@Robstantinople:
A: You okay? B: Fragile. I think I could fall apart any second. Am I coherent? A: Sure. [A BLOWS ON B, B DEMATERIALIZES] Wrong again.

@mrconformist:
guy1: Awe yeah, lets drive this to Atlantis! guy2: woohoo! (turns key) awe man it wont start. guy1: ok lets ride elephants again.

@jamse:
Man: Hello. Woman: Hi there. (they do absolutely nothing for 4 minutes 33 seconds.)

@mimerifle:
Actor: I guess we’ll never know why Hamlet waited. Shakespeare: (arriving in his time machine) Oh, no?

@cutbackdropturn:
Web [levitating a small dog]: There is no hope, ToTo. ToTo: Bark! Bark! Web: I’m sorry but this is the way it shall be. [they vanish]

@Markenstern:
(Lightning strikes stage, Congress appears) Congress: We agree on how to fix the economy! (Exit pursued by a bear market)

@iammrbubs:
In the desert of the real. [Cthulhu waits]

@thericeman:
(Lights up. The actors enter. The play is very good. The actors exit. Lights out.)

@callanstout:
MAN: let there be light (the entire theater collapses exposing the matinee audience to the noon day sun.

@rnheal:
DAVID: Hey. I’m about to give birth to this armoir. GREG: What? David strips naked, births an armoir. Greg rests a beer on armoir.

@DIYhotMess:
fly upstage turn rightish-leftish until you’re facing the audience who hates tmlmtbgb (said audience doesn’t exsist)

@BorgiBorg:
“The curtain opens to reveal all of life, its mysteries, the meaning behind existence to republican intellectuals”

@schlchtmyr:
Neo1: [stands, paces] Neo2: [sits, whistles or hums] Neo1: [trips] Neo2: [rotflmao]

@DoctorMosler:
Hank: Who’s your favorite? Mya: Probably Congressman Ryan. Hank: *doesnt laugh*

@SeeThisShow:
[The audience’s minds are literally blown, and the ceiling dented by the roof of their skulls. Thunderous applause.]

@sylliebee:
A: Does it feel like the ground is shaking? B: Yeah, kinda - [giant SANDWORM tears up through floor,eats both,dives back down]

@Levianity:
[Exit, pursued by a bear] - A Winter’s Tale III.iii (I’m sure Shakespeare he won’t mind though - his copyright has expired)

@BethOnePage:
WOMAN: You’re doing great! One more push! MAN: You did this to me! [MAN grunts loudly at length then gives birth.]

@lex6m:
J: We just won the $540 mil jackpot! S: [back handspring, triple back flip, triple Lundy to top diving board, inward twist into pool]

@mopula1:
A: You said we’d do WHAT?! B: Too late now *Enter God* GOD: Ok you promised you’d eat the cosmos 4 me. Here it is! *A & B eat cosmos*

2 from @benhauck:
A: Anything is possible. B: Not true. I can’t be 5 years old again. A: Sure you can. [A does.] B: Will you marry me?
&
[Audience gets up, walks onstage & puts $100 bills in each actor’s pockets. It then cleans up after itself & goes.]

@dlburmester:
A 3 ring Circus. Clown: Where is the elephant? [A RUMBLING, through the ground shoots the elephant carried by the REAL Superman]

@sissylvester:
HOUSE MANAGER: please turn off your cellphones and enjoy the show. [LIGHTS UP AS ABYSS OPENS UNDER AUDIENCE & ALL DIE BLACK DEATH] :(

And that frowny face is our ender for this week!

Again, leave more plays in the comments if we left them out, or direct message us at Twitter: @nyneofuturists.

And you can check out previous Twitter Plays here: Favorites at Twitter.