Twitter plays, part CLXXV

It’s Twitter Plays CLXXV! This week’s assignment was: write a 1-tweet play that features an EARTHQUAKE. (NOTE: This assignment was put out before yesterday’s Southern California earthquakes. There seem to be no major injuries out west, and for that we are glad.)

Here are your plays starting with @Blueskyfox and a big reveal.

@Blueskyfox:
(Helen Keller&Anne Sullivan,sitting in parlor.Earthquake hits.) H:(flinging off dark glasses)WHAT THE FUCK?!? A:I KNEW IT! U BITCH!

@Joetat3rd:
1:Are you sure this whole door jam thing is safe? CUTTO Coroner: We loose more people to stupid myths like this.

@pkdan14850:
Scientist:Gentlemen! My latest invention: The Earthquake Maker! *pushes button, duck walks on stage* Reporter: You need a copy editor.

2 from @mightytoycannon:
A: Did you feel that? B: What? A: The earth. Shaking. B: I didn’t. A: God’s divine retribution. B: It’s a truck. A: Unbeliever.
&
CHORUS: ONE singular sensation, every little step he takes. [Ground shakes violently] One thrilling combination… RIP Marvin Hamlish

@mopula1:
TOM: Here’s the $1500 i.o.u GINA: I was ready 2kiss this goodbye, thanks! *takes $. Magnitude 8.5 earthquake begins* GINA: I knew it!

@RussJordan:
W:Ohh. M:Uh..? W:Oh G*d. M:Honey? W:Oh! Oh, Gawwd! M:(terrified) Honey? W:Yesss? M:EARTHQUAKE! W:No, not yet! M:NO! EARTHQUAKE!

@thebaronessa:
CONTAGION: You never caught on. KILLER BEES: You barely caused a buzz. TWISTER: You’re a blowhard. EARTHQUAKE: Stop picking on me!

@bolocoharvard:
Will: Was that an earthquake? Bill: No, dude we’re in Boston. That was our stomachs rumbling. Will: Oh! Dude let’s go to Boloco!

@spencer_tew:
Pacific Plate: Hey could you scootch a bit? N. Am. Plate: Yeah, sorry. San Fran: THE END IS NIGH!!!!

@QualeSuperPower:
Lep: Milk shakes for free!!!!! Kur: Sometimes It’s not called lemonade. Lom: I will move the land with my will!

@BurdoBurdo:
Burdo Burdo Burdo Burdo Burdo rumble rumble crash Burdo

@YangHoff:
A.You feel that? B.(eating beef jerky)feel what? B. Couch just shook, maybe an #Earthquake! B.Nah,i just farted A. (Calls “Doorknob”)

@EricaGSmith:
A: U didn’t feel it? B: no. How big? A: 10.3. B: No. No that cant be right. A: you felt nothing? B: are you gaslighting me?

@BUECHNER_LOL:
earthquake comes in and puts hand in mouth. cries.holds hands with @mitt. until a month later. I MISS YOU. “shopping=okaggression”

@BananaHamBone:
Earthquakes.. are what this man thinks he gives to women whilst performing cunnilingus. Woman: earthquakes? more like boredom

@cutbackdropturn:
Jon: The dogs are barking. Em: Go back to sleep. Jon: Our house is shaking. Em: Sh. Beat. A quake. Jon: I’m scared. Em: I know.

@Markenstern:
LOKI: Watch the poison! Ahh! (earthquake) I hate you! SIGYN: Look, it’s Ragnorok! LOKI: Really? SIGYN: No not really. Haha!

@sissylvester:
on deathbed JOHN “EARTHQUAKE” TENTA is w/ nemesis HULK HOGAN. TENTA: i never hated u, terry. i just never knew how to love…myself…

And that is how you write a stage direction. And it is our ender for this week!

Again, leave more plays in the comments if we left them out, or direct message us at Twitter: @nyneofuturists.

And you can check out previous Twitter Plays here: Favorites at Twitter.