Twitter plays, part CLXX
It’s Twitter Plays CLXIX! This week’s assignment was: write a 1-tweet play that features a PARADE.
Here are your plays starting with @Blueskyfox and the perils of marrying a musician.
Reporter:Mr Sousa,what’s ur philosophy of life? S:Life is a parade! R:Thats great! Mrs Sousa? MS:Yes…it’s one…long…fuckin’…parade…
Child 1: Bet you can’t guess how many trombones! Child 2: Erm. 75? Child 1: Close!
A: What’s that racket? B: Maybe a parade. A: Or some kind of ruckus. B: What’s the difference? A: Organization and intention.
2 from @omgitzfern:
A: Why is your voice all effed up? B: Pride parade… A: That was last week B: I know, still at it WOOooo—!!
“Antz” 1: What is this? 2: We’re workin, grab a leaf-bit! 3: Bitches, I’m in a parade!! I ain’t workin! ::twirls leaf-flag, marches::
Elephant: “I’m so sick of these villagers screaming about our parade being a stampede.”
Burdo Burdo Burdo Burdo Burdo Burdo street song Burdo Burdo
a parade. How lovely!? I would never want a hand job from a parade queen. The way they wave suggests a frigidness not for humankind.
Leader: Is our military might not awesome? Lackey: Yes sir. Le: Look at all my tanks. La: But the people starve. Le: Ooo! My planes!
Child: There was a float w/ a sign that said “Show Your Boobs.” What do boobs have to do w/ Mardi Gras? Catholic School Teacher: …
S: Jay here reporting live from the St. Patty’s Day Parade! Dir: It’s July! Why r we getting this feed?! Tech:Who switched 2 dialup?!
1.Its gone… 2. What? 1.Parademarched by.2. It always does. 1.How do u stop it from going? 2.U don’t stop it.U join.
Lions watching the parade of animals at bottom of Noah’s gangplank. L1: This thing’s gonna have an awesome buffet.
Actor: Why the bandages? Accompanist: Because Jason Robert Brown forgets about us mere mortal pianists when he composes.
Shriners cars spin maddeningly around one stalled car. Poor Shriner fails repeatedly to start it. Mechanic from crowd helps, fails.
A: (faints). B: (faints). C: (faints). D: Those wool uniforms and busbies might not be the best idea for July 4th Parade.
1: Like my parade? 2. You’re alone. 1: World’s shortest parade. 2: You’re not moving. 1: World’s slowest parade. 2: Yeah, it’s nice.
SAINT: Should we just go marching in? SAINT 2: Hell yeah. If you want to be in that number! SAINT: Let me just empty my spit valve.
from the parade GRAND MARSHALL MICKEY saw FRONTIER MICKEY and realized they had lied: all mickeys don’t live in giant snow globes.
From opposite sides of a parade 2 men’s eyes meet. ManA turns & runs. ManB climbs a lamppost & screams a monologue.
Bob: What’s that parade for? Rob: Who cares? It’s hot out there and this burrito is delicious. Bob: The smoothie’s good too!
As the elephants tromped by, little Janie wondered why they didn’t just trample the parade and make for freedom. Then they did.
Trix: 3 parades in a day! Al: All this sweating. Trix: I’m about stuffed full of popcorn! Al: All this sweating. Trix: Never again.
Thousands of figures, marching backwards down broadway. BILLY: “Mom, look! It’s one of those Improve Everything things!”
Folks, instead of confetti, it seems Joe bought bushels of foul unfetti. I regret to announce the parade has been cancelled.
Scene: Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. Woman 1: OMG! Woman 2: What? Woman 1: A monk set himself on fire under the #spiderman balloon!
Filed under “Tips For Enjoying Broadway Shows.” And that is our ender for this week!
Again, leave more plays in the comments if we left them out, or direct message us at Twitter: @nyneofuturists.
And you can check out previous Twitter Plays here: Favorites at Twitter.