Twitter Plays, part CLII

It’s Twitter Plays CLII! This week’s assignment was: write a 1-tweet play that takes place in the OLD WEST.

Here are your plays starting with @EvermirePlays and a flashback to the lawless cola wars of the 1980s.

@EvermirePlays:
Man-Give me a sarsaparilla. Barkeep-Sorry, all we have is New Coke. (Man’s face melts off)

@ShaneStraw:
(Horse enters) Man-Hey, why the long face? Horse-You know what? That’s racist. Rev. Sharpton-We demand a public apology.

@sgnp:
LIGHTS UP: Two cowboys, on horses. Cowboy #1: I keep thinkin’ it’s Tuesday. Cowboy #2: It IS Tuesday. Cowboy #1: (To Horse) Told ya.

@NFlemingPlays:
MEL: Where’d you get them spurs, fella? BUD: Off a corpse of some pan-handling fool. MEL: Shiny. BUD: That’s the new style ain’t it?

@AtticScripts:
tumbleweed 1-I wanted to stay east 2-(in a hole) so go 1-strike gold? 2-yep see 1-gimme 2-dig yer own mine 1(grab) mine! 2- no,mine!

@NickCasalini:
Vultures eat a dead human. V1: “This guy died from a mescaline overdose.” V2: “That’s why his carcass is flying.” V1: “Sky meal.”

2 from @BeccaPiano:
Matt: I just can’t quit you. Kitty: Aw,Matt,you’re so sweet. M: Was talkin to Chester. C: Even with m’game leg? Matt,you’re the BEST. 
&
Microbe #1: She’s still got it! M#2: I know! Her immune system is KILLER. M1: Y’know her lover is 30 yrs younger? M2: She’s No Angel.

@jadeshade:
BARTENDER:”who’da known—Sheriff Rollins was a woman!” DIRTY BILLY:”I… I knew.” DB drops his pistol, stares at the body, exits

@lauraknell:
“Feller, gimme yer best chaw. It’s gotta last me two weeks heading o’er yon pass.” “Certainly, sir. Snuff?” “That’s plenty, thankee.”

@katemickere:
Manifest Destiny, the only drag queen in the West, enters. She dances, causing everyone on the Oregon Trail to die of typhoid fever.

@MarekKrawczyk:
(Old saloon owner stands over the corpse of a dead gunman.) “There ain’t a hashtag profound enough for this moment.”

@Mickieszoo:
Stranger comes to town. Saloon showoff challenges gunfight. Stranger gets saloon girl, horse and leaves town in the dust

@SteveMielczarek:
“Jesse James don’t rob women,” Crow Girl said. “He don’t rob preachers neither.” Looking at me, she cocked her gun…

@10000th:
j: Una muñeca, mira. w: Cute doll. T: It is not what you think, it is a katchina. Watch. (the world vanishes)

@GeoffBurleson:
EXT. AZ terr, 1858. Douglas: “Contraceptives such as chastity belts are a true danger to this country.” (Lincoln rolls his eyes).

@thundergiggle:
Eliza: People say the Internet is like the old west. (sharpe enters dressed like a cowboy). S: I’m going to the Internet. E: g’dang.

@mopula1:
Maw: C’mon Slim saddle them ponies see! Slim: What in tarnation? Paddle them penises? Maw: Where’s Doc this fucker cain’t hardly hear

@lobsterbird:
A Native American walks out on the stage. Looks out in the distance for 70 seconds. Lights fade slowly to dark. The sound of rain. 

@CarleighWorld:
Cowboy 1: What’s the difference between a 10gallon hat and a chamber pot? Cowboy 2: I don’t know. What? Cowboy 1: So you’re the one

And that… is our ender for this week.

Again, leave more plays in the comments if we left them out, or direct message us at Twitter: @nyneofuturists.

And you can check out previous Twitter Plays here: Favorites at Twitter.