Twitter Plays, part CLI

It’s Twitter Plays CLI! This week’s assignment was: write a 1-tweet play that features a VERY LARGE AMOUNT OF CASH.

Here are your plays starting with @bilald and a quick refresher on how the financial industry works.

2 from @bilald:
Man: I need to deposit this check for $1 Zillion. Bank: Sorry, we only accept bonds and securities in that amount.
&
(MacArthur winner gets grant in small bills. Lays them end-to-end across Nebraska. Sets them ablaze. Genius is affirmed.)

@newageamazon:
(setting: a greeting card company) a: Happy Valentine’s Day! (dives into a swimming pool full of hundred dollar bills)

@glhunt31:
Banker: Sit down & we’ll discuss your account. Man: But there’s a huge pile of cash in the way. Banker: That’s just my firelighters.

@BananaHamBone:
heyzeus: I want to give you a billion dollars.for ahem (whispers) to sodomize you. Straight guy: how much cash for what did you say?

@NFlemingPlays:
BIF: How much for this intergalactic space freighter? FIG: 50K Galvanian Hungadores. BIF: I’ve got 100K Tiberian Pesos…? FIG: Deal!

@mopula1:
Lisa: Heres $ buy some decent clothes. Grandma: I’m gonna put this in my mattress! Lisa: Huh? GM: Ive got a queen-sized stash of cash!

@schlchtmyr:
Neo 1 w/bag of cash. Neo 2: That can’t buy you love. Neo 1: Can I rent your puppy? Neo 2: Can I hold your bag of cash? 1 & 2 trade.

@fiatluxs4:
John had lots and lots of cash. Jake shot John. Jake has lots and lots of cash.

@Blueskyfox:
(Stage packed with actors dressed as the Man in Black. Enter Casting Director.) CD:Welcome to the SMASH Season 2 auditions…

@lauraknell:
“No, I got the check.” “Thank y— are those all pennies?” “Abe’s got it covered.” “But your collection!” “Dimes are my future now.” 

@littlebirdwords:
A: So many bootlegs… how are we supposed to get rid of them? B: Looks like we need… (puts on sunglasses) a burning ring of fire!

@jamse:
(woman at base of tower made of cash) from above: you’ll never understand. (she considers, pulls a bill from base. again. again.)

@jadeshade:
INT. DRESSING ROOM| AMOUNT OF CASH ??: “does this dress make my butt look big?” Me: “no, darling.” AOC??: “if you say so…”

@WabashArchivist:
Underemployed family member runs to gas station for cigarette tax. Buys $20 scratch off. Wins enough money to never return home.

@jeremyteresa:
Wish ur suit werent on loan from a museum; I’d pillage it 2 buy a hotdog right now;been SO hungry ALL DAY”“damn my lapel is a $5 too! 

@fatone:
R: Thanks for the money, suckers. M: The law will have you! R: Hah! Law: Wow, that’s a lot of cash. Innocent. M: Dang. R: Sucker.

@AtticScripts:
man w/ ceremonial check M-collected these from every corp. in town w- maybe we should do the charity work M- can’t fit ‘em in the ATM

@mightytoycannon:
MITT: I’ll bet you $10000 you won’t remember to write a Twitterplay today. ME: I’ll take that bet. MITT: Changed my mind. 

@thebaronessa:
Robert dinero: you talkin to me? Doughris day: I’m talkin to your pillow. (Johnny cash enters stage left) you ain’t makin’ cents!

@blacktiles:
Scrooge McDuck falls into stockpile of loose cash. Calls 4 help. Fed responds; prints more money. Cash inflates, duck saved!

@rnheal:
SERVER: We Don’t accept cards. Cash only BOE: I need and ATM. Then. ATM enters, explodes a LARGE AMOUNT OF CASH exits. Beat.

@DrSomething:
News Anchor: Today the government has adopted old soup can labels as the national currency. Hoarder: Sweet, sweet vindication!

Wait, but what about commemorative plates? That… is our ender for this week.

Again, leave more plays in the comments if we left them out, or direct message us at Twitter: @nyneofuturists.

And you can check out previous Twitter Plays here: Favorites at Twitter.