Twitter Plays, part CXLIX

It’s Twitter Plays CXLIX! This week’s assignment was: write a 1-tweet play that features a SENTIENT MACHINE.Here are your plays starting with @NickCasaliniand his marble-smooth pickup lines.

@NickCasalini:
Nick checks out Vending Machine. VM: “You’re such a creeper.” N: “But at least I’m a creeper for your insides.” N inserts $1 slowly.

@adam_smith:
Robot picks up tattered teddy bear & cradles it, sheds an oil tear. Robot looks to audience. ROBOT: DON’T LOOK AT ME.

@laurincredible:
MACHINE: What are your plans after Thanksgiving, Keanu? KEANU: Nothing. November is all I know, and all I ever want to know.

@Dav3Ston3:
PS:That’s it baby, put it in me. Harder! Now blow on it! B: You’re the hottest pencil sharpener in the office! PS: Tell your friends.

@thebaronessa:
Twitter: :) Facebook: :P Twitter: :$ Facebook: :( Twitter: :/ :/ :/ Facebook: :S Twitter: >:/ Facebook: :@ Twitter

@stevenberkowitz:
Box: I think, therefore— [bzzt, crackle. smoke rises.] [Tech unscrews back, fiddles with wires.] Box: Fiat lux.

@alieechan:
sentence machine: look what i can say! human: sentient, not sentence. sentence machine: i’m so ashamed.

@ImprovMama10:
“what are you building there? “A sentient machine” “Are you nuts, why would you want to make sentiments?” “Idiot”

@lauraknell:
MAGIC8BALL1: Nine times he asked about moving in. M8B2: Her? Ten. M8B1: Burn it and start over? M8B2: Already dripping on the wires.

@EricSWat:
Girl: I will always love you. Boy: And I will love you until I die. Both: I hate that forever will end one day. B: c’est la guerre.

@10000th:
me: it borrows consciousness from me http://yfrog.com/obbb7ubj mt.: he borrows the ride from me. me: we’re all in it together

@Cwentworth_:
Ed: Tell ya a joke? Bill: Sure. Ed: So, a blind, mute, deaf smell-less guy walks into a sentient machine. Bill: ….lame.

@DrSomething:
Nigel the Nail Gun: Hey there, Air Compressor, you look like you have something to say. Compressor: Eeeeeerrrrrrgggggghhhhhhhhh!

@mimerifle:
F: (stands alone) I’m so cold inside. The hottie next door opens up for anyone but me. She takes, and only gives me her leftovers.

@jocelynswigger:
Metronome: click click click Pianist:Not now M: clickclickclick P: No, Glee is on M:CLICKCLICKCLICK P: ok (practices, smiles)

@joeybraccino:
A: Hey. B: Hey. (A makes coffee-making noises. A spits into a cup. B Drinks.) A: S’good? B: (smacks lips) S’good.

And that’s how you make German Press coffee. And… it is our ender for this week.Again, leave more plays in the comments if we left them out, or direct message us at Twitter: @nyneofuturists.And you can check out previous Twitter Plays here: Favorites at Twitter.