Twitter plays, part CXLVIII

It’s Twitter Plays CXLVIII! This week’s assignment was: write a 1-tweet play that features an APPLE.

Here are your plays starting with @laurincredible and a reminder that if you are a historically significant figure, you should never go to Hawaii.

@laurincredible:
ISAAC: “Aruba is great, but imagine if Isaac NEWTON lived here- ” [Pineapple Drops From Tree And Hits ISAAC In The Head] [ISAAC Dies]

@LindaInPhoenix:
<o.s. snd of chewing> A: Did ya take out the trash? B(o.s): Where? A:Kitchen. B(o.s):By the apple? A:*is* the apple B <gags>

@alieechan:
snake: want this apple? eve: sure. (she takes a bite) now what? snake: you finish it.

@C_Diercks:
ARTIST:As a child I was served an apple from the TreeOfKnowledge & now I cant hold down a job.MASSES:U have a high opinion of Urself.

@ArtHennessey:
WOZ: I type this apple, I see the word. JOBS: I imagine this apple, I see empire. GHOST(Chinese): I labor this apple, I see no end.

@sgnp:
Dark. Single spot. Eris strides onstage naked, holding the golden apple aloft. ERIS: For the prettiest one! Eris devours the apple.

@thebaronessa:
Client: This is no way to sell Whips! Photographer: It creates a strong response to your brand. Client: Mapplethorpe, you’re fired.

@aklemp:
Steve Jobs, to Eve: Thank you. (He embraces her)

@BananaHamBone:
boogers. booty bumps, and bitches. Steve, “Baby you’re the apple of my eye” fellatio. Chrissy makes choking sounds. fin.

@NickCasalini:
Hog sprays Eden w/pesticides. Snake’s mind poisoned. 3 Bees drop dead. USDA inspector Eve enters: “If you can’t beat ‘em, eat ‘em.”

@Levianity:
NEO1: Apple! NEO2: Fig! (repeat ad nauseum)

@rubencarbajal:
Sign: SIR ISAAC NEWTON DISCOVERS THE LAW OF DEPRAVITY. Apple falls on NEWTON, he rises, screams and pummels the tree. CURTAIN

2 from @DrSomething:
Apple: What is it doc? Dr: I’m afraid you have worms. There’s no cure, but your risk of being eaten by a human is greatly reduced.
&
Apple: Well, you are kinda prickly, but your pining for me is rather flattering. Pineapple: I swear I’m sweet on the inside!

2 from @mopula1:
*Woman mutters 2 herself* W: Fuckin computer’s drivin me nuts! I know how to fix it… *throws mac out the window & yells* W: Apple ho!
&
Eve: I’ll knock that apple off yr head w/this ball. Adam: Ok *Eve throws ball hits Adam’s head* A: Ow! E: Now dont call me that again!

@lauraknell:
[HORSE stands by gate. SHE nears, sets apple on post. HORSE moves to eat it. SHE climbs gate, crosses field, drops apples all along.]

@GeoffBurleson:
Orange: We are so alike-both round sentient fruit. We can mate-your stem to my navel: Apple: your thick inedible skin repulses me.

@Meph88:
Apple:”falling, falling, always falling.” Apple therapist:”then what?” Apple:”I wake up”. Apple falls, gravity discovered.

@DrSchneider:
A man with an apple in hand throws it at a pig. Pig screams and runs away. Pig gets hit by a car. Pig dies. Man cries.

@mimerifle:
Apple: Mom. Dad. I don’t care that you’re famous. There’s no way in hell I wanted this name. Gweneth: Sorry darling. Chris: Me too.

@schlchtmyr:
Apple lying at the foot of tree. Sir Isaac Newton sits on it. Waits. Sighs. Despairs. Exits. Squished apple. Blackout.

@PrimroseMK:
A father aims at son w/ bow and arrow. F: Okay, go. The son balances an iPhone on his head. S: I don’t think this is how it works.

@AtticScripts:
1:I brought u a gift 2:an apple 1:grew it myself 2:no tree?1:I watered it. 2: no rain?1:i brought it to you. 2:no trucks?1:here2:thnx

@TaniaCellardoor:
An apple a day… makes you really really tired of apples.

You ain’t shittin. And that is our ender for this week.

Again, leave more plays in the comments if we left them out, or direct message us at Twitter: @nyneofuturists.

And you can check out previous Twitter Plays here: Favorites at Twitter.