Twitter plays, part CXLVI

It’s Twitter Plays CXLVI! This week’s assignment was: write a 1-tweet play that takes features an ELEGANT DRESS.

BREAKING NEWS: This week (our 146th week of Twitterplays) marks the 4,000th Twitterplay written by our followers. YOU ALL are fucking amazing.

Here are your plays starting with @DoctorMosler capturing the spirit of all of my attempts at social interaction.

@DoctorMosler:
Abe: That’s a great pants suit. Rose: It’s a dress. Abe: That’s an elegant dress.

@danielle_rules:
They snuck into the coat closet. M: You’re a stunning bride. W: It’s a Vera Wang. M: Take it off before your husband finds us.

@IceFactoryFest:
An ELEGANT DRESS hung there limp, waiting for her return. A bare bulb held the dark at bay. The #robotwariscoming.

@pseudostatement:
On thus elegant Freddy I feel pike the bell of the ba—stupid auto-corret.

@Xchelm:
1- Nancy, you’re dress is divine. 2- Your husband got it for me, Phyllis 1- I begged him to help your wardrobe. 2- Bitch.

@LaPergs:
AGATHA waits for BERNARD in her elegant dress. BERNARD enters wearing the same dress. AGATHA changes into a tuxedo. CURTAIN

2 from @omgitzfern:
a: WHERE YOU BUY DAT DRESS?! b: Neiman Markees GURL! a: DEG, dat’s some fancy shit, how much? b: A lot, it’s elegant right?
&
Light up on @bejohnce (in an elegant dress & with an oversized fan): Yessss….. @omgitzfern (same attire): Yeessss…..

@thebaronessa:
(She enters boutique to return “elegant dress size 84” with Tusk-n-trunk-holes) Woman: I want a refund. There’s a typo on the box.

@lauraknell:
[BRIDE, frowning]: Good speeches, good food, good cake but no stories for the day. [into limo with GROOM, closes door on hem, smiles]

@mopula1:
*woman walks into ballroom in elegant dress* Man: You are lovely! Woman: Aight t’anks! So is you &me gonna git down? Man: Never mind. 

@Dav3Ston3:
AR (trying on fancy dress): Mitt, can you save America? MR: I JUST WANNA BE LOVED IS THAT SO WRONG? AR: I’ll keep this, just in case. 

@Emperor_norton:
NANCY: What a magnificent meat dress! Where did you get it? ANNE: From Lady Gaga. N: You took her dress? A: No, silly. I skinned her.

@Blueskyfox:
FAIRYGMOM:Remember,Cinderlaura,@12AM ur elegant dress’ll turn to rags & ur slippers back to ur little glass animals. C:That’ll hurt!

@DrSomething:
B: Crap, I forgot to tell you. The ball will be at a nudist colony. C: What?! You mean I bought this elegant dress for nothing?

@WabashArchivist:
A: Dance with me! (frills/twirls) B: You’re intoxicating. A: Come closer. B (twirls closer). A: How rude. I thought it was Valentino. 

@10000th:
H: I’m in love. The cut, the sparkle, your gown is divine, but how can you walk in that? L: I’m a mermaid you idiot.

@yesreallymusic:
NEO men enter with cups of their ejaculate, apply it to NEO (wo)man in ELEGANT DRESS. NEO (wo)man recites most recent Ron Paul speech

@TheaterZen:
She:You look great in that Tux. He:I feel like a monkey. (She turns back to her phone) He:Hey I love… She: It has to be back by 9.

@AtticScripts:
beach, elegant dress washes ashore 1: told you it’d be back 2: she just wouldn’t listen 1: at least she tried to get off the island.

@EricSWat:
1. “mommy is this he dress you wore to marry daddy?” 2.” yes it is sweetie” 1. “I really wish he was here now” 2. “me too…”

@PrimroseMK:
2 women enter, wearing same elegant dress. They scream. W1 tears 3 inches of hem. W2 tears off sleeves. Music starts. They dance.

@jeremyteresa:
“Ladies & Gents, we now welcome Elle Fanning, who will read 2 stanzas of Mary Tighe’s Psyche while you throw eggs at her couture gown

@jocularfowl:
Thebelda exclaims, her sagging skin dragging along the concrete: Darling, elegance is *being* your own glamour…

Beauty is only skin-length. That… is our ender for this week.

Again, leave more plays in the comments if we left them out, or direct message us at Twitter: @nyneofuturists.

And you can check out previous Twitter Plays here: Favorites at Twitter.