Twitter plays, part CXLV

Welcome to 2012, friends! It’s Twitter Plays CXLV! This week’s assignment was: write a 1-tweet play that takes place at the END OF THE WORLD.

Here are your plays starting with @DrSchneider’s Altman-esque, multi-character epic.

@DrSchneider:
Some people: “AAAH!!!”, some other people: “nooo!!!”, random woman: “please help me!”, squirrel: *does nothing* And so on…

@lauraknell:
“Does the sun seem bigger to you?” “Yup.” “And yesterday it was bigger than the day before?” “Yup.” “Should we tell someone?” “Yu-“

@christopherbnyc:
A:Water B:Check A:Food B:Check A:Batteries B:Check A:Condoms B:What A:Just playing. Swiss army knife B:Check A:Gas Mas- (EXPLOSION)

@xopherok:
At the center of a black hole devouring Earth from within, Huey Long & Huey P. Newton wrestle into eternity. 15-minute fade to black.

@PlanetOfFinks:
Bare stage. An empty can rolls halfway across, stops. Nothing, for long moments. A breeze, and the can rolls the rest of the way. 

@lobsterbird:
A white expanse unfolds before two explorers. Explorer 1: we are at the end of the world. What do we do now? Explorer 2: keep going.

@tcaNY:
OLD MAN (walks to microphone): I have the satisfaction of knowing that the world ends not with a bang but with a liquid fart. (exits)

@10000th:
-no, but.. *not now. ^then? -don’t overthink ^there’s no way? -it’s over. *NO is no. ^nothing ever ends -you and your hope

3 from @BananaHamBone:
Hero: “Before the world blows us up, I’m going to blow up the world” Sidekick: “You’re a moron.” The fuse is lit. Explosion. Fin
&
Marcus Maximus: “Wow what a nice day it —-” silence and black. fin
&
Stage. The End of the World. Nothing. Clowns survive. Jesus smokes pot on a cloud with Pol Pot

@C_Diercks:
A man packing women&children belongings into black trashbags. He carries a single box to idling car. Exeunt. Silence. Wrecking ball.

@chadthelesser:
“Finally, we’ll conclude this meeting of the UN Security Council with a friendly game of “Greased Up Doomsday Device”

@CDKWDC:
A dumps unrecycled trash. B: You’re destroying the planet! A: It’s too late. The world is ending! B: And you’re taking out the trash?

@AtticScripts:
1: told u I’d find it 2: end of the world. Now what? 1: go back n tell em 2: who’d believe it? 1: this is just for u and me? 2: yes

2 from @MykeSwazy:
Boy meets last girl on earth, falls in love, girl runs away, boy finds girl, girl falls in love, boy captured by amazons as sex slave
&
what would the last bro on earth do alone? walk around naked? steal shit? pull fire alarms? beat off? all of the above

@WD405:
& from the ground crept humanity, for Death saw his defeat by Lord Izzy the cockroach, in a game of checkers. Spoils to the victor!

@eekshecried:
Two fat angels skate figure-8s on a frozen rink while a solitary bird keeps watch. “I liked the old eternity better.” “Cheep.” “Yes.”

@jamesbickers:
He loved her too much to not push the button. Although it would end everything and everyone, that would include her suffering.

@thebaronessa:
B: What’s this LINE? D: The horizon, stupid. B: Why’s it at my feet? D pushes B off it. B reappears behind him. D: What’s this LINE?

@trelvix:
“There’s a good kitty,” she says, capping her roach jar for the night. “A very good kitty.” Fade to floor lights. Fade to black.

@mopula1:
Woman: Aw shit are we the only two people left on earth? Man: Yep. So will you finally sleep w/ me? Woman: Sure why not. *they do it*

@DrSomething:
A: This is the end of The World! You must choose a new world to inhabit. B: What are my choices? A: Mattress World or Biscuit World.

2 from @Blueskyfox:
(Blood red skies,rain of fire,earthquakes) HE:Baby, I luv u! SHE:Please—I told u a million times—don’t call me “baby”! (blackout)
&
(Spotlight on Figure of DEATH. He does a soft shoe routine,ends with a flourish & bows) DEATH:’night, folks!(curtain)

@KirinMcCrory:
1&2 look at horizon in horrified awe. 1: Trite or appropriate to sing REM’s “End of the World” right now? 2: (Kills self).

@joeybraccino:
1: Don’t panic. 2: I’m not, it’s just I was planning to dine and ditch. #restaurantattheendoftheworld

@NickCasalini:
Polar Bears rise from the waters as Ice Cap Zombies and take pleasure in eating every last human brain.

@chrstnejschmdt:
The world is ending. 1 turns to 2. 1: This is so Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. 2: What? 1: “Enjoy it.”

@yesreallymusic:
“A pandemic of dysentery? How can it be stopped, Dr?!” “Nobody knows. Nobody has played Oregon Trail in twenty years.” “Sweet Jesus.”

@PrimroseMK:
1: But I have have so much more I wanted to do! 2: You knew this was coming. What have you been doing all this time? 1: Tweeting!

@feeeeeeel:
A:i thought you meant the other end B: wait is that the last line? A: yeah B: that sucks. lets go watch blue valentine now.

@WabashArchivist:
woman takes a pill. swallows. yells: now I can rest in peace. lights dim. piano jazz plays. sound of a lrg mass collapsing on itself 

@paramethius:
Curtain up. Empty space. Sign reads “cast members only.” Curtain down.

@Lizzyonstage:
(HE enters. SHE has a glass.) HE: I have a canker sore, but I guess it doesn’t matter now. SHE: You can have my salt water. (Blackout)

@schlchtmyr:
Last one alive walks worst street in the ‘hood. Confused, relieved, then something else, to realize she’ll now always be quite safe.

@TaniaCellardoor:
“Life is only on Earth. And not for long.”-Melancholia

@LaurenDuca:
Zombie1: I think, through a critical lens, the zombie narrative clearly exemplifies racism. Zombie2: Can we just eat brains in peace?

@allison_camille:
1: Man, I guess this whole 2012 thing really was really blown out of proportion. 2: Seriously! Nothing even ha—

@abellware:
Out of ammo. More bogies coming. The atomics will burn off the atmo if they blow. Don’t press the button! No! Tommy, don’t!

@KitBihun:
Thought: Oh thank god I’m finally on the last… (E-Reader goes black)

OH! That is the WORST! And… it is our ender for this week.

Again, leave more plays in the comments if we left them out, or direct message us at Twitter: @nyneofuturists.

And you can check out previous Twitter Plays here: Favorites at Twitter.