Twitter plays, part CXLIII

It’s Twitter Plays CXLIII! This week’s assignment was: write a 1-tweet play that has a TATTOO.

Here are your plays starting with @ogiovetti. Spellcheck doesn’t catch everything, you know.

@ogiovetti:
MAN: [DROPS TROU AND PRESENTS BUTTOCKS TO WOMAN.] WOMAN: That’s not how you spell my name.

@trumpetcake:
Lights up on TJ eating a peach. Kip enters. Kip: Whoa! Look at that kickass peach! TJ: (chewing) I’m tattooing it on my taste buds.

@sgnp:
A: So, I wake up next to her body! B: Horrible. A: Gets worse. He tattooed me. B: “Your Next” Y-O-U-R? A: Ugh. Don’t get me started.

2 from @markjcostello:
Lights. Lydia: “One more, then I’m done.” She tatts herself with a ballpoint & needle. “One more, then I’m done.” Blackout.
&
Lights up. A steady drumbeat rises to a frenzy. Enter Jonesy in uniform: “They’re coming.” Blackout.

@Opipop:
THEY loved 1, not the other, she, alone wept @ the #Edinburgh Tattoo, her love UC lost @ war, a fire THEY, who loved 0, Began

@womenplaywright:
Her: Senator, do you stand by your ‘family values’ speech? (thrusts microphone, sees him recognise tattoo on wrist) Him: uh…Yes.

@thelightedbridg:
H: Is that a spider on your back? B: It’s my lucky charm tattoo. <H reaches toward B’s shoulder> H: Ouch! <B proceeds to spin web>

@PlaywrightsMuse:
Tattoo: I know I’m ugly. Woman: I think you’re beautiful. T: He ran out of blue ink before he finished me! (W kisses Tattoo.)

@omgitzfern:
A:YOU HAVE A TATTOO?! Does mom wanna kill you? B:She did at the beginning, it’s an LV, my initials, not Louis Vuitton

@ImprovMama10:
I went to have my tattoo removed “and?” “And I fell in love with the surgeon, besides she’s seen my butt already”

@wjcstp:
Me: Hey you got new ink! What show is that from? He: It’s Fantasy Island, Mr. Roarke and the other guy.

@Carrera13:
Mom saw his new tattoo, “If you were born with that, my heart would’ve broken. Lucky you, you were perfect, flawless. Oi vey.”

@TheWizardScrim:
Rob plays Black Rebel Motorcycle Club’s “Beat the Devil’s Tattoo” 1000 consecutive times. At the end, he enjoys a slice of cake.

@LauraShamas:
A MAN enters. Watson: Say, old boy, a visitor…Holmes: Sir! You’re in from the Inca ruins? HE nods. On the man’s arm: a sun tattoo.

@MeronLangsner:
A:What is THAT? B:It says IT SEEMED LIKE A GOOD IDEA AT THE TIME A:On your forehead. B:Tres ironic,no? A:That is 2 much hipster 4 me

@agidgetwidget:
MRS: Where u been? MR: Joe’s Bachelor Party. MRS: For 2 wks? MR: O…Um, bender— MRS: —Look, our BABY’s butt! MR: Sweet tattoo eh?

@Blueskyfox:
(Tattoo Parlor)Hooded Figure of Death:U sure about this hon?Girl: C’mon Boo—U promised! Death:*sigh*OK, the heart with “Kelly” on it

@chrstnejschmdt:
Stu lifts his sleeve. Stu: It’s a tattoo! Of your face! So we’ll never be apart!! Betty: Stu, those weren’t joke divorce papers.

@mopula1:
Sailor: hey little girl lookit my tattoo. Its a topless mermaid whaddaya t’ink a dat? Girl: She’s faded & her tits r saggy — like u!

@10000th:
-He’s a liar. ~Yup. -And a cheat. ~Uhuh. -And a hissy-fit-throwing pouty-power-monger. ~TAT TOO? -And he’s winning!

@JustineLambert:
Tattoo: De plane boss! Roarke: Nope T: Why? R: People now seek fantasy in reality T: That’s not fantasy R: It is when it’s reality TV

@BananaHamBone:
A funeral parlor. Max: This dead man has a tattoo. Funeral Director: Skin him. (The tattoo hangs at the embalming station.)

@NickCasalini:
Woman & Man bathe. W: “Your temporary tattoos are cute.” The temp tattoos wash away to reveal real tattoos. W: “Booo!” Man eats soap.

@zachdonovan:
A: I just got back from the Edinburgh tattoo! My ears are stilling ringing… B: isn’t that a drum corps competition? A: What?

@omhassan7:
Act I. Sunny afternoon in a Chicago tattoo shop. AL: What design is that? KIM: A rose. AL: Oh. KIM: It’s cute. Lights down.

@WD405:
Having the Dark Mark doesn’t automatically make you a death-eater, stupid. Where did you get that done, it doesn’t even slither!

Dammit, Goyle! And, that is our ender for this week.

Again, leave more plays in the comments if we left them out, or direct message us at Twitter: @nyneofuturists.

And you can check out previous Twitter Plays here: Favorites at Twitter.