Twitter plays, part CXLI

It’s Twitter Plays CXLI! This week’s assignment was: write a 1-tweet play that takes place in a SLAUGHTERHOUSE.

Here are your plays starting with @10000th and what is a play script, essentially.

@10000th:
[P PepprSprays a block of cattle in headlocks] J- Whatda fck R You DOING!? P: Seasoning.

2 from @LindaInPhoenix:
Moooo. Mooooo. Mooooo. [pause] Moooo. Moooo. [pause] Mooo. [silence] [more silence] blackout.
&
Lady: Out, damned spot! out, I say! ’tis time. Hell is murky! What need we fear who knows it. Doc: She best fear @michaelpollan exit

@ZTimmyCaldwell:
A Cow: I don’t understand why you aren’t laughing. B Cow: I’m about to die. A: Isn’t this a laughter house? B: The S is not silent.

2 from @Javispa:
GIRL: Read me Charlotte’s Web. BRO: “Where are you taking that ax?” “We got a new litter of pigs, I’m going to kill one.” GIRL: Waah.
&
MAN: That last play wasn’t in a slaughterhouse. (PIG walks up and chops MAN’s head off with an ax) PIG: See what I did there?

@mopula1:
Bob: That last cow we killed was big. Tim: Growth hormones work *whistle blows* Bob: Lunchtime! Want a tofu burger? Tim: Tempeh 4 me.

@Dav3Ston3:
M:Abattoir!!! Abattoir!!! C:Two choc-ices please. M:I haven’t got choc-ices. Abattoir!!! C:What flavour is it? M:Beef. C:I’ll take 2. 

@joeybraccino:
K: All this happened. V: Really? K: More or less. V: Well. That’s not a very encouraging start… 

@WD405:
Mr. Pig: I’d like to donate a kidney to my friend, Babe. Forman: Take them both to the Slaughterhouse! Mr. Pig: Wait, what?! Babe:NO! 

@rjgore3:
Hey guys! Look what I found in this carcass! #CalltheFDA

@omhassan7:
BETTY. There’s blood everywhere! BOB. Thy pigs have been slaughtered, ma’am. BETTY. You must clean! BOB. No. Bob exits.

@neutralinoliza:
BABE: I’m special, good with sheep. SLAUGHTERer: I’m vegan, but I hate animals. BABE: You’re mean. SL: And skinny. (Kills Babe). 

@mugglefilm:
A: They broke his feet off! B: What I tell u about bringing toys to a slaughterhouse? A: Bambi…

@WabashArchivist:
Dark. Floor board creaks. Animal sounds. Flashes of light. Human bodies hang on hooks. A: “I never thought the State would mind.” 

@alieechan:
billy pilgrim is about to kill a cow. kilgore trout appears. KT and BP are now unstuck in time. cow: moo?

@loladiana:
I dream of a better life, I want to be fed to poor schoolchildren, who need a hamburger, perhaps clog the arteries of the rich. Buzzz

@AtticScripts:
A finishes slicing a side of beef. B enters. A climbs onto the table. A: make it quick? B: why? C: one day you’ll ask the same favor.

@KirinMcCrory:
Workers 1&2 sit at cutting board, slicing meat. 3 watches from background. 2 (getting up): Fives. 3 sighs frustratedly.

@bilald:
Cow: Moo. Cow #2: So it goes. Anton Chigurgh: Call it, friend-o. (Everybody eventually dies. The world is bleak.)

And THAT is our ender for this week. But who even cares. It’s all meaningless.

Again, leave more plays in the comments if we left them out, or direct message us at Twitter: @nyneofuturists.

And you can check out previous Twitter Plays here: Favorites at Twitter.