New York Neo-Futurists

May 17

Twitter plays, part CCXII

It’s Twitter Plays CCXII! This week’s assignment was: write a 1-tweet play that takes place in MANHATTAN.

Here are your plays starting with our very own @NYNeoJoey who learns us all in the art of compelling stage directions.

“The Death of a Lenape Chief”Chief: Guys! We’re going to Jersey! AND…check out these beads! Guys?Guys?*murder*#tp212

— Joey Rizzolo (@NYNeoJoey) May 15, 2013

@nyneofuturists Man: “Sir! Why did you knock my hat off my head?” Ishmael: “I want to go to sea! To meet a whale named Moby Dick!” #tp212

— William Akers (@ouijum) May 14, 2013

Old Man: Things just haven’t been the same since Jason took this place from the Muppets. #tp212

— Christopher H Wolf (@slimebeast) May 15, 2013

A: Tom lives in SoCoCiNoHeKi. B: South of Columbus Circle, North of Hell’s Kitchen? I thought he lived in OnHo! A: On Houston St? No! #tp212

— lex(@lex6m) May 15, 2013

Zeem:It’s..everything’s red.Zong:I feel..like,in a glass cage.Z:Wet. It’s wet.Z:What’s THAT?!Z: Can’t be..it IS.. A MARASCHINO!!! #tp212

— Becca Piano (@BeccaPiano) May 15, 2013

@nyneofuturists: subway doors close. “What time is it? SHOWTIME!” A passenger, “ehem, it’s actually 6:17”… Train moves. End. #tp212

— Megan E Kosmoski (@MeganKosmoski) May 15, 2013

1.Rent went up again 2.By how much? 1.Here’s the keys to our Astoria apt.That’s how much 1. Do svidanya manhattan #tp212 @nyneofuturists

— Bflood28 (@Bflood28) May 14, 2013

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May 10

Twitter Plays, part CCXI

It’s Twitter Plays CCXI! This week’s assignment was: write a 1-tweet play that takes place in a CIRCUS.

Here are your plays starting with @TheGonzalez. You must wait at least 30 minutes after eating before going into space.

CAPTAIN DAVE: Bro, seriously, can you not wait until I leave for my spacewalk before eating all that damn steak? LOU:(Scowls. Burps.) #tp211

— Marian Gonzalez (@TheGonzalez) May 7, 2013

Two satellites’ gentle caress sends one hurtling out of orbit, past the kuiper belt, past the galaxy. The other plummets to earth. #tp211

— Jonah Eisenstock (@JEisen) May 7, 2013

Cmdr: To be or not to be …Pilot: Not this again. Cmdr: That is the question … no, don’t open that! Ahhhhh! Pilot: And, scene!#tp211

— CrookedHeart Theater (@CrookedHeartLA) May 7, 2013

.@nyneofuturists (lights up on THE GALAXY.)TOM: [dialogue cannot be articulated because TOM has no access to oxygen in outer space] #tp211

— cassidy (@malegazegraves) May 7, 2013

1: [line, spoken in the silent vacuum of space]2: [line, spoken in the silent vacuum of space]*ad infinitum*#tp211

— Joey Rizzolo (@NYNeoJoey) May 8, 2013

@nyneofuturists Milky Way Tour VO: Look to the left you can see Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars. (BANG) Make that Mercury, Venus, Mars… #tp211

— Mary Miller (@AnneHartIsDead) May 8, 2013

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May 02

Twitter plays, part CCX

It’s Twitter Plays CCX! This week’s assignment was: write a 1-tweet play that takes place in a CIRCUS.

Here are your plays starting with @MarielMatero and the importance of disclaimers.

WATCH OUT FOR THE ELEPH- #tp210

— Mariel Matero (@MarielMatero)
April 30, 2013

@nyneofuturists #tp210 (backstage)clown: I wish she was more flexiblecontortionist: (with her feet behind her neck) I wish he was funnier

— Ran Xia (@rhinoriddler)
April 30, 2013

Cthulhu steps out in the acid rainstorm, and sees a hellish circus set up near the entrance of Dis; he cares not.#tp210

— Paco Secada (@iammrbubs)
May 1, 2013

Elephant 1: Have you heard about this mad-elephant disease?Elephant 2: Yeah. Scary stuff. Good thing we’re penguins, huh? *sneezes*#tp210

— Joey Rizzolo (@NYNeoJoey)
May 1, 2013

For #tp210:(A camping tent looks up at an event tent. It tentatively takes out a bottle of steroids and begins to chug, crying softly.)

— Ben Ferber (@BenFerber)
April 30, 2013

BERNADETTE: Isn’t it rich? PETER: Aren’t we a pair? BERNADETTE:Me here at last on the ground PETER: Me in mid-air. Send in the clowns #tp210

— Vee (@thebaronessa)
April 30, 2013

#tp210 The clowns pick out audience members to follow home, hunger in their eyes, waiting for them to sleep… #CantSleepTheClownsWillEatMe

— Meron Langsner (@MeronLangsner)
April 30, 2013

#tp210 (Spotlight up! Enter spandex’d French aerialists! They all go to slot machines, sit, start to play. Ten minutes pass. Bows)

— Jeremy Gable (@Jeremy_Gable)
April 30, 2013

Bearded lady revealed to be a dude who eats too much soy. Circus owner uses outrage to distract from fact that he’s abusing animals. #tp210

— Adam Cecil (@fakeadamcecil)
April 30, 2013

@nyneofuturists “”. I think the mimes are trying to say that the audience has escaped and are attacking the lions. #tp210

— college theatre dork (@theTheatreDork)
April 30, 2013

[Open on the US House of Representatives] Stuff happens. The End#tp210

— Daddy Dav3 (@JustSton3)
April 30, 2013

My life #tp210

— Kyle Petersen (@BrooklynJuggler)
April 30, 2013

@nyneofuturists #tp210 “What’s the name of thew new circus in town?” “the tragedians.” “Hmm, to see or not to see that’s the question”

— Ran Xia (@rhinoriddler)
April 30, 2013

Some French Canadian bullshit goes on for way too long. Audience members pissed they paid $90 a seat for this crap #tp210

— Kyle Petersen (@BrooklynJuggler)
April 30, 2013

#tp210 ELEPHANT: Could you *please* bring me a Perrier? MIME: [mimes in protest] E: [shifts weight treacherously] FAT LADY: Lyricist!!!

— Jeremy Lewis (@jeremyteresa)
April 30, 2013

HAMMOND enters the ring with a bag of CIRCUS PEANUTS.H: Tastes like orange.#tp210

— RN Healey (@rnheal)
May 1, 2013

#tp210Sir?Mgrmph.Excuse me, sir?Mglrnph.Sir, can you hear me?Nrmgrpl.Sir, would you please remove your head from that elephant’s ass?

— Jah Schwa (@Jah_Schwa)
April 30, 2013

Muffled sounds of RINGMASTER & crowd as CLOWN sits outside, waiting.Enter RINGMASTER:”Get out there!”Clown throws nose & leaves.#tp210

— Dan D. (@fakewindow)
April 30, 2013

(A FORTUNE TELLER to her daughter, as they scurry past a WELL-KEMPT WOMAN with a stroller): Stay close! They eat children like you. #tp210

— Julia Specht (@captainxcellent)
April 30, 2013

@nyneofuturists ELEPHANT MAN REDUX-I’m leaving.-Go! Join the circus. I don’t care! -Come w/ me? -And live in DC? Are you crazy? #tp210

— Mary Miller (@AnneHartIsDead)
April 30, 2013

M: You good?F: What?M: You got me?F: NoM: Oh fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!(The crowd goes very loud, then suddenly very quiet.)#tp210

— Spencer Tew (@spencer_tew)
April 30, 2013

Ven: SLOP CORN! COP PORN!!Lita: Yeah eat that fuckin stool!Boz: Why don’t they believe the truth of my painted sorrows?Aud: wooo!#tp210

— Quale Super Powers (@QualeSuperPower)
April 30, 2013

#tp210 The knife thrower sets up targets. They are pictures of what he finds wrong in the world. He throws. He misses every time. Weeps.

— Meron Langsner (@MeronLangsner)
April 30, 2013

Will: This popcorn is good but I want something real.Bill: Get a hot dog.Will: No, let’s go to BOLOCO after this!Bill: Oooh yeah!#tp210

— Boloco Harvard Sq (@bolocoharvard)
April 30, 2013

@nyneofuturists HE: Quick, hurry, run!SHE: Why?HE: The monkey’s have escaped and nuts are running wild!(HE runs.SHE stops!)#tp210

— Mary Miller (@AnneHartIsDead)
April 30, 2013

#tp210 The elephants, realizing that the thin ropes binding their legs are but poor representations of the chains of their youth, break them

— Meron Langsner (@MeronLangsner)
April 30, 2013

Tiger 1: You…ATE…our opening act? Tiger 2: WHO likes the clowns anyway? Hmm? Tell me. #tp210

— Heather Morrow (@theatrejunkiehm)
April 30, 2013

Clown 1: My wife cheated on me. Clown 2: So you’re a sad clown? Clown 1: Maybe, but she’s a tramp. (They laugh, then Clown 1 cries) #tp210

— Circuit Theatre (@CircuitTheatre)
May 1, 2013

@nyneofuturists #TP210 2 men enter,take down the heavy rope net strung there. 1 shouts towards the ceiling: “Budget Cuts! Good Luck!” Exit

— Cindy Womack (@ArmyofWomack)
April 30, 2013

And that is our ender for this week!

Again, leave more plays in the comments if we left them out, or direct message us at Twitter: @nyneofuturists.

And you can check out previous Twitter Plays here: Favorites at Twitter or find out more about what this Twitter Play thing is all about.

Apr 26

(Source: contextfreepatentart)

Apr 25

Twitter Plays, part CCIX

It’s Twitter Plays CCIX! This week’s assignment was: write a 1-tweet play that has something to do with WEATHER.

Here are your plays starting with @littlebirdwords who gets really real.

(Two people enter, sit. Ten minutes of silence.)1: So it’s um, awful sunny outside, huh?2: Yeah, we never should’ve fucked.#tp209

— Havilah Imfeld (@littlebirdwords) April 24, 2013

#tp209 (Lights. BOB DYLAN enters) BD: You don’t need a weatherman to know which way the— (Wind blows him off, along with many signs. Bows)

— Jeremy Gable (@Jeremy_Gable) April 23, 2013

Bill O’Reilly: “tide goes in, tide goes out. You can’t explain that!” ::Jesus returns to earth and explains it to everyone:: [exeunt] #tp209

— Kyle Petersen (@BrooklynJuggler) April 23, 2013

Cthulhu gazes upon the terrains of hell, and burps out the essence of Jeff Daniels.Hell has it’s first acid rain in 10,000 eons. #tp209

— Paco Secada (@iammrbubs) April 23, 2013

@nyneofuturists Crowd: Planes grounded! Traffic stopped! Our only escape is to run before the heavens explode! AND MY HAIR FALLS!! #tp209

— Mary Miller (@AnneHartIsDead) April 23, 2013

Al Roker: “heres whats happening in your neck of the woods” @chuckwthr “Today 65, Wed. 40, Thurs. Blizzard, Fri. Heat wave” #tp209 #Indiana

— Dan the Automator (@YangHoff) April 24, 2013

#1: It’s raining men! #2: Hallelujah! #3: I prayed for rain. I think God might be gay. (Lightening strikes #3.) #tp209

— Cary (@CDKWDC) April 23, 2013

1: I hope we don’t get any weather tomorrow. 2: We’re lucky we didn’t have any weather yesterday. 3: I’d rather no weather than this #tp209

— Ed French (@amsphr) April 23, 2013

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