Leap Day is silly. February is silly. The whole damned year is bizarre, at best. The clock is standardized. Rulers are standardized. Weeks are standardized. Why are months and years so wack? We need a new, more sensible way of tracking our days.
Founding NY Neo-Futurist Chris Dippel offered this brilliant re-design of the Gregorian Calendar, which is confusing and erratic: 31 days here, 30 here, 28 here, sometimes 29, holidays fucking EVERYWHERE. I will summarize Chris’ plan here:
- Make every month exactly 28 days.
- Every day falls on the same day of the week (e.g. The 1st is always Sunday; the 19th is always a Friday. Always.)
- Add a 13th month (called, say, Trisember)
- 28 times 13 is only 364 days, SO we will add one extra day at the beginning of the year. This will be New Year’s Day holiday. It has NO DAY OF THE WEEK. It just IS.
- During Leap Years, we will suspend the calendar for New Years for 48, instead of 24, hours! This will be called Super New Year’s Day
- No more current holidays! (Chris says “No more arguing about who deserves a holiday named for them, or calculations about Easter, or regional decisions about Rosh Hashanah”) The 26th of every month (always a Friday, btw) will be a national holiday. That is 13 national holidays!
Simple! and know that your next national holiday isn’t until May 28. Under Chris’s proposed calendar, today would be Wednesday, March 4, and you would have THREE more national holidays before then (the 26th of March, April, and May!) Support the Neo-Futurist Calendar. Write your Senator!