New York Neo-Futurists

It’s Twitter Plays CXLII! This week’s assignment was: write a 1-tweet play that takes place in a CAVE or UNDERGROUND.

Here are your plays starting with @coreyallenx and the greatest complaint of the ancients.

@coreyallenx:
Underworld. Hades: They sent the fruit basket you love. Persephone: Where’s the turkey? ! If I see one more goddamn pomegranate…

@mopula1:
Scene: sewer- Tex:The Resistence is getting stronger. Louise:They took freedom of speech&internet- no more. Virginia: We rise again!

@_melky:
G: um. a…cave? B: cool place for our date, ja? G: It’s v dark! B: s’ok here’s a—-AHH!!! (lurches into rocky abyss) G sighs: again? 

@rubencarbajal:
Subway full of BORED COMMUTERS. ENTER MAN w/knife. “Who wants some?!” CAR STOPS. COMMUTERS, nonplussed, move to next car. *True Story

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(c) 2007 Claudia Alick

Claudia wears head set microphone and sits in chair center stage holding butcher block full of knives. Her breathing is amplified. Men enter and create semi-circle around her.

Men: She can end this play whenever she’d like.

On the following lines each man takes a knife.

Man 1: It’s about fear

Man 2: Endurance

Man 3: Masochism

Man 4: Art

Men: Do you want this to stop?

Claudia: Yes

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You heard correctly. This weekend’s TOO MUCH LIGHT MAKES THE BABY GO BLIND features 11 WORLD-PREMIERES as well as the triumphant return of Lauren Sharpe!

COUNT DOWN…

11. souvenirs, by Lauren Sharpe

10.   Test of biblical longevity as applied to modern human sexuality #1: Love Thy Neighbor As They Wouldst Love Thyself [or] Jesus commands a game of chicken., by Cara Francis

9. This is what she made her Barbie do, by Cara Francis

8. People & Communications: Miscues & Adjustments, by Rob Neill

7. From There to Here, by Ricardo Gamboa

6. This is normal., by Lauren Sharpe

5. Plan C: A Modest Proposal, by Joey Rizzolo

4. What we talk about when we talk about cats, by Lauren Sharpe

3. Let’s Put the Queers in Charge of Crowd Control, by Dan McCoy

2.  Time to Build a Better Boat, by Rob Neill

1. New York Neo-Futurist Black Friday 90-Second Super Sale!

GO!

It’s Twitter Plays CXLI! This week’s assignment was: write a 1-tweet play that takes place in a SLAUGHTERHOUSE.

Here are your plays starting with @10000th and what is a play script, essentially.

@10000th:
[P PepprSprays a block of cattle in headlocks] J- Whatda fck R You DOING!? P: Seasoning.

2 from @LindaInPhoenix:
Moooo. Mooooo. Mooooo. [pause] Moooo. Moooo. [pause] Mooo. [silence] [more silence] blackout.
&
Lady: Out, damned spot! out, I say! ’tis time. Hell is murky! What need we fear who knows it. Doc: She best fear @michaelpollan exit

@ZTimmyCaldwell:
A Cow: I don’t understand why you aren’t laughing. B Cow: I’m about to die. A: Isn’t this a laughter house? B: The S is not silent.

2 from @Javispa:
GIRL: Read me Charlotte’s Web. BRO: “Where are you taking that ax?” “We got a new litter of pigs, I’m going to kill one.” GIRL: Waah.
&
MAN: That last play wasn’t in a slaughterhouse. (PIG walks up and chops MAN’s head off with an ax) PIG: See what I did there?

@mopula1:
Bob: That last cow we killed was big. Tim: Growth hormones work *whistle blows* Bob: Lunchtime! Want a tofu burger? Tim: Tempeh 4 me.

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© 2008 Alicia Harding

At the go, all the Neos ask an audience member, “May I borrow your shoes, please?” Neo 1 (in this case, Alicia) sits center stage and carefull unties and removes his/her shoes. Neos keep asking the audience until they feel that the resource is tapped out. If there are not enough shoes, Neos will take off their shoe(s). Ideally, there will be at least 10 shoes, but more is awesome. All available shoes will be placed in a pile stage right. Neo 1 arranges the shoes in a rectangle against the stage right wall, just big enough for him/her to sit cross-legged inside. After all the shoes are gathered, other Neos will take a seat.

Neo 1 continues making the rectangle and says:

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©2006 Ryan Good

5 neos sit cross legged at foot of stage facing the audience. Neo 6 (Ryan) is standing on a block holding a mixing bowl and a spoon. He places each ingredient (which is still in it’s box) into bowl as they say ingredient.

A: ½ ¾ cup shortening

B: 1 cup sugar

C: 2 eggs

D: 1 cup milk

E: 3 cups bleached white flour

A: 3 teaspoons baking powder

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We are spiraling quickly toward the end of the ‘regular season’ for 2011 Too Much Light… and it has been a crazy week for us that starting with our big 3rd annual benefit.  Which was a great party and we honored the moth!

I write this today as Dan & I prepare jump back into the show with  Joey, Cara, Ricardo & Meg.  We will be bringing you these 7 brand new plays:

1. “Illusory Theatre”, by Dan McCoy
2. Clink IV: Short. Conflicted. Shot., by Rob Neill
3. Space Men, by Joey Rizzolo
4. Inquiring Dan, Interrupting Rob, Intoxicating Play, by Meg Bashwiner
5. The Clump, by Dan McCoy
6. The Mayor Wants Your Umbrella, by Cara Francis
7. Memoirs of an Intern, An Arguably Semi-Offensive Re-Appropriation of That One Movie, by Ricardo Gamboa 

Come out and see the new works.

Have a good weekend & hope to see you in the east village. 

-Rob

It’s Twitter Plays CXL! This week’s assignment was: write a 1-tweet play that takes place in THE WOODS.

Here are your plays starting with @neutralinoliza and a technically prodigious wolfgirl.

@neutralinoliza:
Lights up on GIRL raised by wolves (with family). BABYWOLF: Why’d SHE get the G4? WOLFMOM: Shh! She’s googlemapping the river. 

@zachclarence:
Bella: Good thing we are in these misty woods so noone will know you are a vampire…? Edward: That makes sense!

@richmintz:
Squirrel: You like my tail? I got it done. Bambi: Yeah, it’s sexy! Squirrel: So how about some squirrel-on-deer? Bambi: Not so much.

@KitBihun:
Harry&The Henderson’s inspired me & my bro 2 learn “these woods like the back of our hand” bt we didn’t know which side that was. 

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©2010 Roberta Colindrez

At go, Joey Rizzolo is standing onstage really excited about the space around him. He’s grabbing air. Loving it. After a beat, Roberta Colindrez enters.

RC: Hey Joey- 
JR: (cuts her off) Look at this. 
RC: Wha- 
JR: It’s beautiful. So full. (he loosely outlines some sort of shape in the air w his hands and body. Studies it. Admires it). Damn. 

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Also, we have 7 world premier plays this week!

They are:

LEXICON GAYDAR!

21-Gun Salute

Do-Over

Justice, Penn State Style (WARNING: This Play, if Allowed, May Prematurely End the Show)

Since My Boyfriend Went To Los Angeles This Weekend Without Me and I Have The Emotional Maturity of a Seventeen Year-Old I Want You To Call This Play So You Can Help Me Make Him A Little Bit Angry, Insecure, or Jealous, But Preferably All of The Above

No. 2 Ticonderoga + Swingline fovever

Experimenting with Meg and Paul McCartney

See you tonight and every Friday and Saturday night at 10:30 at the Kraine Theater 85 East 4th Street!

Love and horses,

Meg

It’s Twitter Plays CXXXIX! This week’s assignment was: write a 1-tweet play that has FOUR SPEAKING ROLES.

Here are your plays starting with @Casarino’s intro to physical theater class.

@Casarino:
L: I’m hungry! B: Me too. And my hands hurt! M: My face itches. Maybe we should quit. N: Yeah. We’re not very good mimes, are we?

@visitordesign:
1”it’s broken” 2”no.it’s just old” 1”so, it has no battery? no power?” 3”only apples and leaves” 4”it’s a shame it’s so big”

@bogmad:
Int. BK Restaurant. A: Hey! B: YOU! [fight!!] Owner: Get OUTA! [fight out door, into a car, alarm sounds] D:MY CAR!

@AlfredoTauste:
barber:I will cut the thoughts you dont need anymore; shoemaker: I make the path of you life better;son: I’m happy;daughter: tell me!

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© 2001 Rob Neill 

Rob stands on stage with a large paper bag containing the Bambi lamp, the Bambi lamp shade and a light bulb.

‘You can call me Flower
if you want to, Bambi.’
Bam bi
Bam bi Lamp

I have a Bambi Lamp
I found it and it’s mine.
I have a Bambi Lamp that
I found on a Chicago El train platform
in the trash
and now it’s mine.
Someone’s discarded. Trash. Mine.

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