d New York Neo-Futurists

Twitter Plays, Part CCXXXXIX: An Earthquake

I have no insightful preamble to this week’s submissions - they speak for themselves. I do want to note that @aileechan sent us a message acknowledging not the timeliness of this assignment. It was a nice bit of synchronicity, as Ailee (who is living in L.A. right now where Monday’s earthquake hit), like me, is Jersey born and bred, and her message came right before this submission:

…which is accurate. This week’s Outstanding Use of Politics/Current Events award goes to…

Outstanding Use of Meta-Theatricality…

Outstanding Use of Pun…

Look out, fellas/ladies, @JedKronfeld doesn’t just make puns. @JedKronfeld creates pun experiences. Seriously, look out. That shit can get aggravating. Outstanding Use of Stage Directions…

And of course, outstanding plays…

bucketofrhymes:

Phil or Steve — from the New York Neo Futurists by Dylan Marron.

Hi there internet…

is there anything you guys want to see come from this tumblr or are we going to do this thing where you just follow us for silence?

Twitter Plays, Part CCXXXVIII: A Disappearance

Some months ago, we started doling out awards for Twitter Plays. They were like weekly Tonys, except there is no statue (but there is staTURE…oh my goodness is there ever). There was one award that was smithed but never awarded, collecting dust like the big button in Wonka’s Great Glass Elevator. Well, Charlie finally climbed aboard friends, because a Twitter Play has evoked tears, a pre-requisite to winning the award for ONE-THOUSAND CRYING PANDAS. (I have to consider the possible egomania implied by naming this as I have. Do I imply that a single tear from me is as bad as the mourning of what is quite possibly an entire [adorable] species? Yes, yes I suppose I do.) Except here’s the thing…where this award has never been given out before, it will be given out this week FOUR TIMES. Something about this assignment really tugged at your heart. Your work, in turn, has tugged at mine. We’ll start with this one: Is that absurd? Maybe. But there’s a beautiful and terrible metaphor in there about how we will consume those things we most love for the sake of our own survival, and that survival itself is relative. Did BP cut corners and destroy an entire ecosystem? Absolutely. Did they make out like bandits in the doing? You betcha. I’m reminded of this in particular because this isn’t a rudimentary meal, it’s a burger, another animal, a symbol of American decadence. Well done. The simplicity of the stage directions there is elegant. Also, “Emma.” I want to emulate the action of this play now. This hit me on a personal level, but my goodness, isn’t it awful when you knowingly hurt people that you love? Guys, stop. I’m crying again. The fourth also takes home this week’s trophy for OUTSTANDING USE OF POLITICS/CURRENT EVENTS (and the only play to tap into the inspiration for this week’s assignment): There are, of course, other winners, including this one for OUTSTANDING USE OF META-THEATRICALITY: …and OUTSTANDING USE OF STAGE DIRECTIONS, so awarded this week not only for penning a stage direction delicious to read, but doing so in a way that is reminiscent of Eugene O’Neill (plug: The NY Neo-Futurists present “The Complete and Condensed Stage Directions of Eugene O’Neill, Volume II.” Tickets are on sale NOW: http://www.smarttix.com/show.aspx?showcode=COM91) Plug over. Here’s your play: And the genius goes on… Thank you, playwrights.

ATTENTION FRIENDS, FOLLOWERS AND SECRET ENEMIES. 

HERE ARE THE WINNING BABY HEAD SELFIES. THANK YOU TO ALL THAT SUBMITTED.

hips-before-hands lifeofamonkeybum luketuesday gethenian 

Have you ever wanted to have a baby head on your face?

nyneofuturists:

nyneofuturists:

We are giving you a picture of a baby head. Our baby head. Now make your face, a baby head face. Print it out, make a sticker, save on your phone, create a poster (glitter is always cool), whatever floats your boat. Now take whatever is keeping your boat afloat and take a selfie with it, wear your baby head face proudly. Hint: photoshop is cool too. Only rule is that the baby head needs to be on your face or head. Not your mom’s, dog’s or a street sign. We want you and nobody else, because after all you are who you are. Don’t cheat the baby heads will tell on you, we have psychic link. Now you are done with Step one! Step two, send us your selfies, just click the presents link and we shall consume all your selfies with pride and smidge of jealousy about how beautiful and creative you all are. 

image

GET THEM IN BY TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 4TH AT 3PM EASTERN STANDARD TIME.

We will post our favorite five on Tuesday and share all your glory, beauty and creativity with the internet. Good Luck, only the strongest shall survive. 

COME ON GUYS. 

LESS THAN 24 HOURS FOLKS. 

Have you ever wanted to have a baby head on your face?

nyneofuturists:

We are giving you a picture of a baby head. Our baby head. Now make your face, a baby head face. Print it out, make a sticker, save on your phone, create a poster (glitter is always cool), whatever floats your boat. Now take whatever is keeping your boat afloat and take a selfie with it, wear your baby head face proudly. Hint: photoshop is cool too. Only rule is that the baby head needs to be on your face or head. Not your mom’s, dog’s or a street sign. We want you and nobody else, because after all you are who you are. Don’t cheat the baby heads will tell on you, we have psychic link. Now you are done with Step one! Step two, send us your selfies, just click the presents link and we shall consume all your selfies with pride and smidge of jealousy about how beautiful and creative you all are. 

image

GET THEM IN BY TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 4TH AT 3PM EASTERN STANDARD TIME.

We will post our favorite five on Tuesday and share all your glory, beauty and creativity with the internet. Good Luck, only the strongest shall survive. 

COME ON GUYS. 

Have you ever wanted to have a baby head on your face?

We are giving you a picture of a baby head. Our baby head. Now make your face, a baby head face. Print it out, make a sticker, save on your phone, create a poster (glitter is always cool), whatever floats your boat. Now take whatever is keeping your boat afloat and take a selfie with it, wear your baby head face proudly. Hint: photoshop is cool too. Only rule is that the baby head needs to be on your face or head. Not your mom’s, dog’s or a street sign. We want you and nobody else, because after all you are who you are. Don’t cheat the baby heads will tell on you, we have psychic link. Now you are done with Step one! Step two, send us your selfies, just click the presents link and we shall consume all your selfies with pride and smidge of jealousy about how beautiful and creative you all are. 

image

GET THEM IN BY TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 4TH AT 3PM EASTERN STANDARD TIME.

We will post our favorite five on Tuesday and share all your glory, beauty and creativity with the internet. Good Luck, only the strongest shall survive.